Random Notes from the X-mas Bunker

Fucking holidays, they stuff in close quarters with people who annoy the shit out of you, who you have nothing in common with, they wonder why i hang out with the kids, the kids at least are honest, wide eyed, happy, met my newest 7 yr. old nephew and damn was he a sweet kid, getting bullied by his big brother and wired on adrenaline, thought there was a bear scratching at the back door and the poor kids in a strange place and he's telling me he's not scared but his eyes are giving it away that he's scared shitless, guess who told him it was a bear? see big brother, but we talked hot wheels and video games and i told him i'd be right around the corner with the imaginary boy so if any more so-called bears showed up he could get me...

this morning i got up and had a morning smoke as the sun rose up over the hills of central Pa. It was quiet and clear and cold and gorgeous, a bit of a zen moment before the day spirals out of control, must admit watching the imaginary boy was spectacular, fucking kid melts my heart every time he smiles at me, lost his shit when the older kids broke out the remote control helicopters, i haven't laughed that hard in god knows how long but that's what i like about the kids, they remind me of all the joy that the world has beaten out of me and the kids hand it right back...

talked to the old man on the phone and told how i missed the old days, the wilderness years, when it was just me and him sitting in his apt. watching the Sportscenter year in review, waxing philosophical, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee with no where to go and nothing to do, some of the best X-mas's i ever spent, no tree, no lights, just me and my father hanging out after the family we knew imploded, eating toast or maybe some danish, i'd give him a carefully selected gift, which was for a few years a year's subscription to Penthouse, which the first year i did amused the shit out of him, he'd hand me a check that i'd try to refuse but i'd take anyway and later in the day i'd drive from Cleveland back to Pittsburgh missing the old man the whole time, most of my better attributes i can say i learned from him, taught me alot about being a man and a father, taught me to think for myself even if that meant disagreeing with him, taught me alot about grace and dignity even though i've often forgot it at times and we always have a good tongue wag x-mas morning that usually has nothing to do with holidays and the like and alot to do with the philosophical aspects of the culture around us. love the old man. a class fucking act.

well it's come and gone again and this year's edition has my ears ringing due to some wacky head cold and tomorrow it's back to work and that may just mean some x-mas pints for lunch, hope everybody got what they wanted. happy saturnalia.