Starman

 On any given night one could find me standing in the dark, positioned somewhere in the cul de sac, gazing upwards at the blue-black sky, trying to sort out the constellations, the glistening planets, pondering the immensity of the universe and understanding that i am nothing, a bag of stardust assembled for the time being with a couple of legs and arms, some fingers and toes, and mind that floats aimlessly in my skull, a pink blob that we know next to nothing about and which many of my fellow humans spend most of their lives wasting and ignoring and never really properly using... at least in my humble and ignorant opinion... i gaze at these stars and think and wonder and it reminds me that all of this ephemera around me is nothing more than window dressing for the rubbish of modern life... i watch how these stars move in the night... or more correctly how my tiny orb moves and thus moves them in my field of vision until slowly, one by one, they begin to disappear until the closest of those stars peaks it's orange and red head above the eastern sky... the squares would say i smoke too much dope and am a bit too fond of psychedelics, in particular those little bits of fungi which Terence once postulated may have been dropped here by some intelligent form of being passing through the cosmos... and since our lives are made of the myths we make i tend to like this myth for my life... 

And so this December i was struck one dark night at the three stars in a perfect diagonal line, what turned out to be three planets, going right to left and ascending from Venus, which was the lowest, followed by Saturn which was the faintest of the three, and then Jupiter glowing brilliantly at the top. I used the computer i keep in my pocket to look up what they might be, using that internet and a compass to figure out what they were. I've always been a half ass astronomer, hell i've always been a half ass everything, see painter, poet, lumpen-prole and what have you... but i was delighted at this discovery, so thrilled to see these planets that after picking Disaster up from a b-ball game i dragged him to the side of the house to show him. The youngest boyo was actually quite keen to see them even though he downplayed his interest in his father's new bit of knowledge but we began talking about the stars and how it was once how humans navigated the globe, planted their crops, harvested those same crops, and generally based their lives around the movements of these celestial bodies. Since Disaster seemed interested in the topic i told him he should ask for a telescope for Chrimbo... Disaster then did a few calculations in his head and decided he wasn't sure that would make his list and that was that... 

And so we fast forward to Chrimbo morning, the boyos opening their gifts, a pile which the Breadwinner seems to take great pride in though sometimes it's just junk for them to open. Some strange tradition she started and let the oldest boyo fuel by insisting they have X amount every year. I, on the other hand, feel that there shouldn't be that many and maybe the ones that are there should be more, useful/meaningful? if that makes sense or possibly they should be things to do instead of get but we all know that i'm a bit odd when it comes to these "normal" type things that this culture and society foists on us. 

Things were rolling along as usual when the Breadwinner looked at Disaster and asked if he wanted to give me my gift. I as a bit surprised because we don't usually get gifts (we parental types that is), definitely not for each other but once the boyos were out of elementary school where each year there was a little store and they'd buy gifts for their parents, grandparents, what have you, gifts i always enjoyed because they displayed the thought process of the child, things like bouncy balls and excellent coffee mugs (which i still use almost daily), i was a bit baffled as to what it could be. Apparently Disaster was adamant about getting this thing and he would not settle for a cheap one either... i had no idea what it could be when he handed me a small box, the Breadwinner then stating that the actual gift hadn't arrived yet but that this was a picture of it and that it should be here soon... and so i opened the box, Disaster watching me intently, and what should i find inside? It was a picture of a telescope. I let out a little laugh and saw Disaster smiling at me. 

As the story was relayed back to me, Disaster had walked up to his mother and told her he wanted to get me a telescope for Chrimbo, he felt that i really wanted one which is why i suggested he get one but that i would use it more than he would. They then set about looking for one but Disaster insisted that it be a good one and so the Breadwinner, in a shocking move, shelled out a couple hundred bones on one at the insistence of her youngest son. Disaster actually picked it out and was quite pleased with his selection and was even more pleased with his old man's reaction as i was well stoked. A few days later it arrived and i'm now in the process of putting it together so that soon i'll be able to be even more the weird suburban eccentric who sits around in a dark cul de sac with his telescope pointed in various directions so that i can figure what is what and ponder the celestial bodies, pondering things being one of, if not my most favorite pastimes. 

If there is one thing i've tried to teach the boyos it's that you never stop learning, you're never to old to learn something new, to discover a new vein of knowledge and how that new vein can be incorporated with the other things you've learned. Their old man with his vast array of interests and useless info is always rambling on about things, mainly to himself but sometimes out loud or i'll stop and tell them these strange pieces of information or my whacked out theories on things and it's always interesting to see their reactions. Sometimes they could give a fuck and sometimes they start asking questions, sometimes it may be a day or two later when they mention something about what i had rambled on about before, no matter, it always brings a grin to my mug knowing that if nothing else i'm making them think about the universe which is the best gift i could give to them, much more valuable than any trinket... 

Soon i'll have my new telescope put together, i'm sure i'll annoy and intrigue the boyos with my discoveries, i'll bug them as i badger them to come out and look up at some new constellation i've just worked out, my strange fascination with useless pieces of info, to say it's one of the best gifts i've ever gotten would be an understatement, not for what it is but for the reasons behind it. And yes it's not an accident that this was posted today... because, well, you know...