Sunday, October 21, 2007

America makes me laugh

So the imaginary boy and i are driving around, me listening to tunes, him pointing out trucks, buses and heavy equipment and occasionally taking naps, when on the hell hole known as the South Side i come across this bumper sticker, "No child should die from poverty so you may have everything you wish." Great sentiment, shit i got one and i would sell my fucking organs to make sure the IB was okay but the problem stemmed from the fact that this bumper sticker was plastered on the back of the biggest SUV that GMC sells, so i swung to the side to see if it was just a bit of ye olde irony, but it wasn't.

The guy had his wire rimmed glasses and Polo shirt and a myriad of Jesus stuff hanging from the rear view mirror and had the IB not been with me i probably would've try to engage him in a little healthy discourse about what a fucking twat he looks like with that bumper sticker on the YukonXXXXL super cab SUV, but i gotta sneaky suspicion he wouldn't understand what i was talking about, cuz Jesus loves me and shit and he just wants me to know that, and he drives a huge SUV and wants YOU to know that children are dying so YOU can have everything YOU want. Well i want a fucking peanut butter sandwich, how many kids will die from poverty if i make one? Maybe we should ask the Jesus guy and if you Mr. SUV/christo-fascist fuck want to save some starving third world kids don't you think you could have forgone the SUV and donated that money to charity, got around by bus-walk-bicycle? Hell i say send the third world kids to Afghanistan and let them help with the opium trade, then they'll have money and a habit but i bet they won't really give a shit, but i digress.

I'm just tired of all these religious fanatics using the old hippy from Jerusalem who liked whores and layabouts as the poster boy for the American work ethic and American morals, cuz let's face it this country has no fucking morals and the work ethic is espoused by the rich to keep the poor toiling in factories and admin. asst. jobs for a shot at the good life which the rich will make sure never comes, if you want it steal the keys or change the game and of course the powers that be will look at you as some kind of madman, i know from experience, so the next time i don't apply for a suckers job at the Big World Bank Machine and all my superiors ask why i wil refer them to the Bible and ask? Did Jesus ever seek a promotion? in fact did he ever hold a job other than an elaborate form of panhandling? I need to stop reading bumper stickers.


Unknown said...

If you stare at your new masthead long enough, that image of you sticks in your retinas forever.

ItWasInevitable said...

Amen, brother.


Anonymous said...

no don't stop reading them! seek out some more and blog more frequently :-)

spanish tony said...

'HONK IF YOU'RE HORNY' is my favourite bumper sticker, IB or no IB you'd have to address that if you saw it. Peace brother.