Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Rage Against The Machine




A scant 16 months or so ago i could walk two city blocks north out of my front door, cross Friendship Ave. and the then Penn Ave. and hit an alley and score anything from smack to crack to ass, in fact for awhile i lived less than a stone's throw from that alley and while i wasn't fond of the bars on my windows in understood their purpose, you know, keep out the undesirables even if one of those undesirables had the keys to the place... but that was then and this well is now...

Now i live in the land of Wonder Bread, a land of cupcake eating, bible reading, Volvo driving, pink Izod shirt wearing twats who stand around in their pleated golf shorts and discuss their handicaps (golf) and are so PC it's motherfucking ridiculous, you see i got a call from the school this week, the second this year in fact cuz the I-mac has been acting like, well, how do i put this? a six year old boy basically, seems he's a bit rambunctious on the playground and though the guidance counselor has told me he's not doing anything the other boys aren't doing it seems that sometimes he likes to push it a bit farther, basically he's a tad (smirk) impulsive and excitable, strange things for a 6 yr. old boy to be right? what i love even more is the fact that so far he seems to be acing his fucking classes and when he does get in trouble he's been described as respectful, polite, well-spoken and honest to a fault, funny sounds like a pretty good fucking kid to me but noooooo, somehow some fucking parent called the school on the boy because of his language, seems he uttered the word sexy, yes i know, a dangerous fucking word if ever there was one but he was trying to insult someone, when quizzed he admitted he didn't know what it meant and though nothing was made of it at school it must have come out at home and some lily white fuckhead got their panties in a bunch...

And for the record, if the boyos fuck up daddio doesn't let them slide, as long as it's a legit fuck up, hell i expect them to push the limits because for all the shit i've read when a kid gets in a bit of trouble they suddenly learn that there cconsequences to their actions you know, unlike say a bunch of straight laced Ivy league fucks running wild in the banking industry and believing their own lies, i don't expect perfection and in fact if they never got in trouble i'd fucking worry, it's not like their daddy ever got in any trouble right? Luckily though daddy talked a good game and understood the law well enough to frustrate most cops and other assorted authority figures, hell it's damn near a birth right in his daddies family to give the big middle finger to the man, i mean my clan has been fighting powers that be since we washed up here on these shores and i damn don't expect it to stop now, hell we know how to play the game and i learned long ago that the best way to corrupt the system is to get inside it and infect one mind at a time so you're god damn right that i'm gonna teach the boyos to question every motherfucking thing they are told, including the shit that flies out of their daddies mouth, that said i won't have them fucking persecuted and charged for nonsense and shit that's a fucking joke and if these fucking white-bred chicken shit motherfuckers want to tangle with this proletarian nightmare then so be it, i'm bigger, stronger, faster and fucking smarter and if there was every someone who could think on the fly it's my dumb ass... of course don't let me fool you i'm real a fucking moron but when properly motivated i can be a bit of a handful...

Of course i knew what i was getting into out here it's just i didn't expect it to start this early but fuck it, wait till they get a load of me at the next PTA or school board meeting, holding my notes yet speaking off the cuff and fucking with their silly little ideas, maybe i'll wear a Dead Kennedy's t-shirt to fucking boot, fuck 'em, you see when you tell me that my kid is well liked and pleasant and that none of the stuff involves him bullying anyone i want to ask what you're calling me about? number one i know the kid is not a bully and number two i know he's been on the receiving end of some shit that should have me calling the school but the kid is cool with it and seems to be doing fine, as i said he's honest to a fault and will tell his mom and i everything and anything that is bothering him (as well as any other thought he might get) basically it's shit that every little boy does, though i have told him to stay away from certain girls cuz it seems that's where he gets in trouble but it also seems that some of these little girls will do anything to get his attention whether good or bad, in a nutshell, the same shit that's been happening on playgrounds since the dawn of fucking playgrounds...

and since i'm on my fucking soapbox... i overheard a soccer coach of one of the teams telling parents not to be alarmed if he tells their kid not to score anymore goals, seems they don't want to shatter the confidence of the less gifted footballers in the district and while i was walking by i stopped and openly glared at the man to the point that he looked at me and stuttered, i wanted to point out that when i was in junior high we lost to a team from East Cleveland by a score of 72-26, we got fucking shellacked and we all could of put our little dicks between our legs and gave up the game of basketball and played, i dunno, fucking golf, but some of us got pissed, some of us went out and worked our ass off to get better so that by the time we got to high school we were beating those same kids, in fact we beat them on their home floor where they hadn't been beaten by us suburban white kids in ages and yet here stood Joe Soccer Coach instructing kids to play down from their ability, makes fucking sense to me? Jesus Christ this is exactly the pussification of the American male that drives me up the fucking wall, you basically just told a bunch of kids to not do their best and coast and everything will work out cuz you're good, yet what you didn't tell them was that sooner or later they will play someone better and those boys might not let off the gas and kick your ass from here to Timbucfuckingtoo... unreal...

In the end though, i won't let these fuckers mess with my boyos and i won't let them change my boyos, they will be who they will be and they will be taught by their old man to respect their peers and what not but to think for themselves and to not be bullied into being something because it makes life easier on the teachers, playground aide, administrator etal, because as we all know the world would be a boring place if everyone just did what they were told right? and if they ever need a shining example of that,when they are old enough i might just point them towards some little viewed, weird and fucked up website and let them read away...

10 comments:

JMH said...

Sexy? What the hell is wrong with people? Maybe in 1954 a kid (or adult) couldn't say "sexy," but nowadays it means "trendy." It describes new and popular video games where you blow up stuff, not Leisure Suit Larry (where you got blown...up).

If he said "sex-crazed," than that would be a different story.

Well, I guess life would be boring if there were no one to rage against. And Jesus would agree.

Chef Files said...

"...and yet here stood Joe Soccer Coach instructing kids to play down from their ability"

If ever a nose deserved to be broken, he's your man.

twin said...

Baahahahaha!!!

Sexy

good one.

thank you...i needed a good laugh.

The Unbearable Banishment said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Unbearable Banishment said...

The apple never falls far from the tree! Izod's are very protective of their delicate larvae. You'll see.

When I took the girlies to Disneyland (just you wait for THAT magic) I walked around one day with a Bukowski tee-shirt. Someone insisted on having their picture taken with me because THEIR name was Bukowski! But they had no idea who he was.

Rassles said...

Seriously, training our kids to hold back for the sake of other peoples' pride is insane. absolutely fucking insane. That's something kids have to learn to do as adults because it's right, not because some bitch parents are jealous that their kid is a spaz and everyone else's can kick a ball.

Rassles said...

And by that I mean: there is a time and place to be a fucking martyr, and it's not in park district soccer.

daisyfae said...

i would love to watch you take on the ol' Harper Valley PTA. can't wait, in fact.

had to learn tactics to deal with well-meaning bureaucrats and administrators who were "just doing what they need to do, to be, you know, fair to everyone."

the phrases "Got it. Thanks." and "You may be right about that. Is there anything else?" are powerful in the realm of pinchoff.

Oh, and you can always ask them if there's a form to fill out. They keep yammering about something you need to do and you just keep asking if they have a form you can fill out, or if they have a website about it or something...

and yeah. i had to do this dance. mostly with The Boy....

Kono said...

JMH- I'm sure the Jeebus would agree.

Chef- that's exactly what i was thinking.

Twin- nice to hear from you and i'm glad i could bring a smile your face.

UB- don't i know it man, apples and trees and all that and seems my own apples didn't fall very far from this tree... and this will be the second trip to DW, Kid A has been there once but it will be the maiden voyage for Kid B.

Razzo- what you said... and i wanted to scream at the moron, "this is why we'll never fucking win the World Cup Asshole!"

Daisy- i'm thinking my own reality show... and you will be the first to see any footage.

Jayne said...

"...impulsive and excitable.." Don't let anyone in that school tell you that it's time to talk to the pediatrician about ADHD medication. "Impulsive and excitable" is code, in the schools and among the teachers, for ADHD, and don't those teachers/administrators love to steer parents right toward the drugs. Settle that impulsive and excitable boy right down!

What they would love is a class of robots.