Monday, May 9, 2011

Holiday in the Sun

I went to Mexico, with onetwothreefourfivesix in-laws and 5 kids under the age of five, two tweens and a 17yr old.  The bar opened at 10am but by day three Roger the lovely bar keep was handing me drinks a good hour before it opened, he also offered me coke and whores and had i been younger and not with my kids i would have spent the next few days doing rock star lines with Mexican hookers and walking around my hotel room in a lime green speedo, swim goggles, an orange feather boa and a wig circa Ziggy Stardust era Bowie, all while smoking French cigarettes through a ridiculously long cigarette holder, i would have remained my normal pasty white, but instead i spent copious amounts of time swimming with my boyos, going down water slides (drunk), ocean kayaking (also drunk), swimming in the Gulf of Mexico/Caribbean Sea, i don't know which? and watching some of the funniest fucking diner theatre i've ever seen, see this place was geared towards the kiddies and i got to witness four different shows but only one needs mentioned as it was the best fucking show in the history of shows, see it was a bunch of Mexicans singing and dancing in a Michael Jackson tribute and it fucking ruled, it may have been the highlight of a week filled with well... not many, needless to say by the time i left i got to hang out with the guy who played Mike and have a few drinks, a swell cat who was actually Argentine...
Needless to say in-laws can be a pain in the ass and mine are no exception, i know they mean well (sometimes) but i just prefer to hang with my kids and loiter at the pool bar, i won't get into all the graphic details but i will glance over the highlights... first Fabiola, the girl at the desk was an absolute stunner and made me wish i had brought a copy of Fante's Ask The Dust, she was the kind of beautiful Latin girl who you could easily piss your life away chasing after while she strings you along and wrecks you all in one sweet motion... Second, Futbol, it was on all the time and i enjoyed the Mexican league more than i thought, besides there was a ton of Limeys around to debate the merits of many an English team and most were stunned to learn that i support Crystal Palace Football Club (we're staying up)... Third, watching my boyos tear shit up and pass out each day, they are much like their daddy... Fourth, the food, cuz i dig Mexican food... Fifth, all the free booze i could handle and the fact that there are many top notch Mexican beers, at least i think so but then again i like PBR, and finally...

Mexico and it's people, let me say that i didn't want to like the place since they are us Septics biggest rival in this part of the world as far as the futbol is concerned but the people were for the most part a friendly lot (even if someone did nick my camera) and the country is a hard and beautiful place, on my last night Nick Disaster and i went out for a stroll and stopped to watch the sun set over the rough terrain, a brilliant sunset that went from orange to red to purple to dark blue and it was as i was watching this sunset, looking west towards Sinaloa, over a country sure to see if fair share of murders on a friday night, i was in awe of it's toughness and it's beauty, the land had much in common with many of the people i met, people making 55 pesos a day or roughly 5 bucks, people who worked hard and smiled and seemed to know how to live just a bit more than the Septics and Euro-trash they were serving, a trait i've tried never to lose and one i admire... as for me i spent most of my spare time looking like the guy in the above photo.

9 comments:

sybil law said...

It sounds fucking fabulous and like exactly what I need ASAP!!

nursemyra said...

Will you wear the speedos and the boa when you meet us in Chicago?

The Unbearable Banishment said...

A very nice post. Pretty ballsy of you to visit Mex right now, with its simmering violence and kidnappings and such. Were you secretly trying to get rid of mom-in-law? I've got one of those. We can load the two of them on a rocket pointed at the sun and arm-wrestle over who gets to hit the launch button.

Kono said...

I'll have to add the pic later as my computer here at the big world bank machine has went spastic and fucked up this whole post.

Gulfboot Johnson said...

Welcome back brother Kono. I'll call you this weekend. I should have met you fuckers there.

daisyfae said...

i have enjoyed a few visits to mexico - and you have captured most of the reasons why. 'cept you left out the awesome scuba diving off the coast, riding around on mopeds (drunk), and realizing you got tourista while eating bad nachos, while you are riding around on a scooter (drunk) and wondering where the fuck you're going to find a toilet in the next 30 seconds...

Jayne said...

Fuckin'-a my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I loved this post, Kono. So glad you got out in the sun, away from the gray machine. It does a world a good. I don't ever remember being sober in Mexico. In fact I don't remember much about Mexico at all, except it was a damn good time.
That last bit, though, about its people like the land--I loved how you tucked that in, that truth, so close to such poverty and threat, with a beautiful Latin lady and swanky pool bar just yards away. ;)

Jayne said...

P.S. I love that photo of Johnny--says it all. :)

Kono said...

Sybil- it wasn't half bad.

Nursie- I didn't know i was invited?

UB- I was in one of the five states that isn't under the travel ban...yet, as for the MIL, she was aces (rest her soul) now the FIL and the BIL? give me the launch codes.

Gulfboot- gracias mi amigo.

Daisy- You drink enough rot gut malt liquor and nothing phases you.

Jayne- the land and the people are what stuck with me the most, probably cuz i read to much Roberto Bolano.