Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Hipster's have found Armand's

Last night while walking Kid B and drinking iced coffee and sweating like the sasquatch i am, i happened to glance into one of my favorite dives, a place where i've gotten royally wasted on such pleasant days as Thanksgiving and X-mas, a place where most of the people are missing teeth and permanently smell like smoke, a place where they don't make Mojito's and other fancy foo-foo drinks but do make a wicked bourbon and coke, a place where the usual order is a shot and a beer and if you are brave enough and have a constitution of iron you can drink draft beer and deal with the ensuing morning where it will feel like somebody hit you square in the forehead with an axe handle, a place in this place of antiquated liquor laws known as the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania (second only to Utah, yes fucking Utah) that i can actually score a 12 pack of PBR cans and not have it cost me 10 bucks and of course a place known like it's sign says as home of the "Famous Fish Sandwich", though i've never been there when the kitchen's open...

and what did i see? three hipster chicks sitting at the bar while all the old men drooled on themselves and probably bought them drinks with money they didn't have because usually attractive young women avoid this place as if it were a leper colony... but not the hipsters, they seek out places like this cuz they think they're "quaint and charming" and find it ironic that they still have Foghat on the jukebox and now i can only hope that the skinny jeaned douche bag male half of hipsterdom does not follow suit, but just as shit attracts flies so does hipster girls attract hipster boys, i'm holding out that it's just a passing fancy and that soon they will move on, there are more than a few old man bars with cheap booze in my hood and my concern here really is for the barflies who've spent most of their lives in this joint, they are the ones who will suffer if the hipsters invade like the ravenous locust and give the owners silly thoughts like posh beer and higher prices and then once there are to many hipsters and it's no longer hip and they all move on the the next "quaint and charming" dive it will smolder in the wreckage of hipsterdom but at least then life as the barflies know it will return to normal.

4 comments:

daisyfae said...

i spend my thursday nights at a place that sounds a lot like this. the hipsters have a delightfully short attention span. they'll wander off soon. strength, brother...

Rassles said...

It's so frustrating that the hipsters destroy everything good, especially since the original hipsters, the forerunners of the lifestyle that's been commercialized and mainstreamed and strangled of identity by all those wannabes...the original hipsters would have kept it a secret. Being a hipster used to be a lifestyle, a philosophy. Now it's about being cool instead of being You. You know? Drives me nuts.

Michael said...

If I wear rubbers in the shower to keep water out of pee hole -- would I be hip?

Kevin Sousa said...

that is the funniest fucking hipster quandary that i have ever heard.