Thursday, August 27, 2009

Gentrifuckation

As the previous post noted Hipster assholes are the new cockroach, they are everywhere, like what used to be the Round the Corner Hotel and Bar which has been reborn as the Round the Corner Cantina, see some hipster and his wife teamed up with another hipster and asked the old man who owned the place if he'd ever sell it, now let me state the place was a gem, a throwback to old steel town where the steel workers could eat, drink and live under one roof between shifts at the mill, it's built on a corner (obviously) and has a killer old bar that i'm guessing was built in the 20's or 30's and now...

Well the hipsters were smart enough not to touch the bar but have somewhat gutted the place and put up stylish? wallpaper and re-finished the floor and filled the jukebox with hip indie and world beat records and serve almost nothing but Mexican beer and fancy fresh drinks, drinks that take the bartenders ages to make so that most of us sit there hoping to get served in the next 20 minutes if we're lucky, my first time in the place i estimated it would take a month before it was wall to wall asshole and not a week later it was, chock full of dreadlocked white kids and bike messengers and overdressed hipster indie types all cooing and cumming on themselves cuz the place served Negro Modelo and had Dos Equis on tap and served it in mason jars, really i'd drink out of a dog dish i just want my fucking booze and when at the pub um excuse me cantina i'd like it not to take an hour to twist the cap off the bottle, which brings me to the white dreads... i was once a white kid with dreadlocks and it's been over ten years since i hacked them off and fuck am i glad i did cuz now every idiot and his brother has them, i counted at least a dozen the last time i was in this joint including 2 out of 3 bartenders, now i'm not a trend setter or anything i just know that a white guy in 95 with dreads was much cooler than a white guy in 09 with dreads, (i'm such a narcissist), especially when he wasn't a hippie, the boys from Jane's Addiction cool, Keith Morris superfuckingcool, Adam Duritz not so much and quite possibly the turning point of the white dread from social statement to fashion statement, now i'll admit i got a bit off track and really what this is about is gentrifuckation of the slums i love best, see Lawrenceville used to be seedy, Butler St. was filled with a few gay bars, dives, a crap restaurant and Ray's, which if you dig through the archives you can learn about, a place where the common man, a drag queen and a hipster could all hang out in peace, it was more about smack dealers, sweatpants whores and crackheads and less about boutique shops, trendy cantinas and new condos, don't get me wrong it ain't there yet but it's coming and when it does i just might move to the fucking suburbs.

18 comments:

daisyfae said...

sounds like the corner bar is fucked. ouch.

Rassles said...

See? This new hipster pisses me off.

Anonymous said...

where are you from? What part of Pittsburgh?

Kono said...

I live in Bloomfield and spend most of my free time, when not chasing Kid A and Kid B, either on my couch or perusing the streets of Bloomfield and Lawrenceville. Been known to wander into Polish Hill's favorite watering hole and have a soft spot for the Strip due to certain breakfast joints, the new mini-donut place and the Pittsburgh Popcorn Co.
You can leave a name you know, Anon, i'm really just a mild mannered maniac who's more than willing to debate the merits of others views and opinions over a pint or over the aether of the interweb.
Though i take it you may not be the same Anon who's in such an uproar over moped gangs.

Anonymous said...

You didn't answer my question. Where are you from? Not where do you hang out. Where are you FROM?

Kono said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kono said...

I see you flunked reading comprehesion, read above post again, if you want a history i'm from the Rust Belt, born in Cleveland and live in Pittsburgh for the last 14 years, North Oakland, Friendship, Shadyside and my current residence, last i checked i'm the U.S. of Scottish descent, planet Earth. that enough. Where are you from if i may ask?

Anonymous said...

A tourist. I thought so. The majority of businesses on Butler are owned by native Pittsburghers including the cantina and of course the same is true in Bloomfield. My father's family is from Lawrenceville my mother's from Lincoln Lemington and Penn Hill's and I was raised in wilkinsburg. If you want to hang out in a slum that will never change then go back to Cleveland you fucking carpetbagger. Us Pittsburghers would like to see our city thrive. You romanticize the poor and suffering because you're wealthly and safe, you think you're cooler and apparently more stylish than everyone else and you blog about it. I would say that in fact you're the hipster but actually I think you're a yuppie and so do you and you're pissed off about it so you say nasty things about good people who are doing good things. While hiding behind a computer I might add. You should stay in Shadyside it's a better fit for aging white fratboys.

Kono said...

As soon as i'm done polishing the Volvo and contacting all my frat brothers on Facebook i'll deem you with a response. 14 years makes me a tourist? by the way you never said which suburb you live and while we're on the subject of hiding why don't you come out of the closet Anonymous?

Kevin Sousa said...

Anonymous...pretty sure that is lincoln lemington for pussy. Before you get all high and mighty pussy boy....you know who i am (i hope that your photo and name identification are up to snuff) and i know kono like a brother. Just because you are from here doesn't make your "understanding" of this city (my city) any more warranted. I am in the process of opening a business in Garfield, a business that will include the locals in the work force as well as the construction and most importantly as a part of one of our target demographics to be successful and maintain a relationship with the people that built the neighborhood.
The only people that have the right to romanticize the poor and suffering are those of us that have been poor and suffering. I don't even think that you understand that there can be inclusion whilst still making things better you moron. I grew up in a steel worker bar in Mckees Rocks and lived above it until it burnt to the ground. I think that i have the cred to say that the old school "dive" bars and their connotation are a core part of the Pittsburgh persona that folks like you obviously pride themselves on, so i am having trouble to see what it is that you don't understand about what is being said by this lover of our city which speaks volumes considering that he was not even born here yet has invested his life in....you anonymous prick.

spanish tony said...

ooo you yankee lot are bitchy (it is yankee right? I mean not the other side?) any ways keep up the good work kids its very entertaining. Lar you're a fucking yupee, in fact your the most yupeeish 6.4ft hairy gorilla I ever met you posh twat..... ha!

spanish tony said...

ooo you yankee lot are bitchy (it is yankee right? I mean not the other side?) any ways keep up the good work kids its very entertaining. Lar you're a fucking yupee, in fact your the most yupeeish 6.4ft hairy gorilla I ever met you posh twat..... ha!

Kono said...

Spanish you always could charm the pants off me, those plaid golf pants cuz as we know right now i'm out on the links discussing brokerage firms with Rex, at the country club of course, where later we'll get massages by illegal workers from third world countries who will supply a happy ending. being a yuppie if fucking great man.

John said...

Seems like some people want to own their own business and make their own decisions. One of which is to not run their place like a slum. Free will is so confounding kono. Old school dive bars are indeed the core of the malaise that Pittsburgh has been suffering for generations, it seems like "why try" is in the drinking water. So some people do try new things and idiotic hipster bloggers whine and bitch about it. It's part of the natural progression... It the battle of new Pittsburgh vs. new Pittsburgh that wants to pretend it's old Pittsburgh and that it was soo great to watch a city decline over the last 30 some years.

Kono said...

here's what i like. when fucking nitwits read one post and think they know what the fuck this space is about, (that's you John) i'm to old and fat to be a hipster but i still do try to shove my gut into tight pants, if you bothered to read the post above this one you might understand that i have no problem with the place or how it's owners want to run it, shit you could glean that from the comments but when you read one post and use free will well shit i'm confounded, but fuck it you are free to ridicule me all you like, i don't give a shit, i'm a misanthrope... and if i was a hipster i think i'd be sitting at the Cantina drinking Dos Equis in a jam jar and wishing they fixed the Replacements cd so that i didn't have to listen to Afro-beat since i'm stuck in the malaise of 80's indie rock. cheers.

Kono said...

John, just who exactly is Keith Morris?

Kono said...

Bukowski said "Don't Try"

Kono said...

and another thing, i find it funny how all you non-hipsters care so much about the hipster bars but have said nothing about Armand's. I guess we only give a shit about the new and not the things that have been sustaining neighborhood's for years right? fucking twats, to quote Mike Cooley, guess your really have to have a hole in your own to point the finger at somebody else's sheet.