Saturday, August 29, 2009

Allow me to retort, Anonymous

Let's explain gentrification to you, since you seem to be so self righteous about the poor and suffering, see gentrification is the displacement of those poor and suffering when higher income individuals and families move into said area thus driving up property value and forcing the poor out, so while you enjoy calling me yuppie and a carpetbagger, which though once a derogatory term if you were pissed about the South losing the Civil War but was really a term describing Northerners who went south to help rebuild it, much like me moving from that cesspool that is Cleveland to Pittsburgh. Yet what happens to the poor people when they are forced out of their neighborhood? They get to move to shittier neighborhoods, the ones where no one gives a fuck, which in turn see even more violence and crime and yuppies driving through to score their dope.

For the record Mystery Man, i happen to dig Pittsburgh alot but like most yinzers who've never been past Kennywood let alone to another city like Cleveland you wouldn't understand that the cities are quite similar, you may even be surprised to know that i think what's going on in Lawrenceville is positive right up until all the residents who've lived there all their lives get forced out and if you understand gentrification that day will come sooner or later. You may also be shocked at the fact that i've helped some of these organizations who help improve my neighborhood and others and that members of my family work for private, Pittsburgh owned small businesses. Fact is businesses like the Cantina are great for some and not for others and i hope the people that bought it succeed, the crowd i could do without but being a reasonable fucker i don't have to go there if i don't want to now do i? The posts were more about Hipsters who i enjoy taking the piss out of much like Stillers fans like to do to me cuz i support the Browns.
As for my status as a yuppie i could only hope to attain such ahem lofty heights one day but since i put my self through school i'm not going to disparage my education, only an asshole would do that and by my self i mean i paid for it, except for the years when the basketball scholarship did, fortunately i've never really aspired to a career so i have a job instead and a house which beats living in rooming houses and being homeless both of which i've been at certain points in my life, oh if only my frat brothers would've helped me out then, of course irony and sarcasm not being your strong points i'll let you figure out that i don't actually have any frat brothers and since i've actually been poor i can tell you first hand that there's nothing romantic about it so i think you know where you can put that comment so go grab your Astroglide. Oh and thanks for cluing me in on the fact that the majority of businesses are privately owned, i never would've figured that out by talking to the owners, i actually thought they were all owned by some sheik in Dubai. Of course on closer examination you'll find that many of the new businesses sprouting up are started by the so called Carpetbaggers you deride so heartily, the Brillobox is owned by people who moved from NYC and Ray's which was one of the first new successful businesses on Butler before being sold to an acquaintance of mine and renamed Remedy was started by a couple from Florida. I was actually part of a group that looked into buying Ray's to gasp invest in the community but thought the price was a bit exorbitant and since i was friends with the previous owners decided friendship was more important than business.

Of course since we like to conjecture so much and i find it highly amusing that i'm some white, yuppie scumbag who wants to see the city fail, contrary to your highly informed world view why would i want the city i live in to fail? I'm not a republican hoping that the whole shithouse goes up in flames cuz i'm not in power, while my roots are squarely rooted in the working class i busted my ass to save some money so i could seek out opportunities if they came along, i found nothing i liked so i saved my dough and change fucking light bulbs and move furniture while living on the fringe of the intelligentsia while fucking around with a blog that i find slightly amusing in my spare time, i drove a Chevy Geo that i bought for $400 bucks for years cuz that's what i could afford and also being fiscally intelligent should be something most people should strive for, that said, i don't play the corporate game for my own reasons, as i've stated your reading comprehension is for shit and like most of the set of he who yells loudest wins you're to busy thinking about what you're gonna yell next to listen... so

since you had your turn here's a missive from the carpetbagger yuppie frat boy asshole as you so eloquently describe me, i get the feeling you live in mommy's basement and drink nothing but Iron City but more likely I.C. Light, if that's not available i'm sure you can pahnd the Coors light like nobodies business, somewhere on your body is a tattoo of the Steeler logo, most likely on the calf or shoulder, you may be one of the only people who still give a shit about the Pirates (also owned by carpetbaggers, as are the Penguins) and your existence is intrinsically tied to football, you slag off anyone who utters a word against the Burgh yet most of what you know of other cities you learned from cable telly in mum's basement, i'm pretty sure you have Big Ben growth chart poster in that basement apartment that you speak to on a regular basis and you probably only recently cut off your mullet, i'm sure you love Jim and Randy and don't realize that you are exactly the stereotypical yinzer that they take the piss out of... yet somehow i give you points for your commitment and passion even if you are a knob who misread a post about hipsters and hipster bars. As for hiding there is alot more information on this site about me than someone who drops in posting anonymous missives so the hiding comment is a bit oxymoronic, that said this topic is closed. Like the Dutch we can agree to disagree.

6 comments:

nursemyra said...

I had to go back to the comments on previous posts to understand what this was all about......

Guess "anonymous" won't be coming round here no more

Kono said...

yeah Nursie, guess i'm pissing people off left and right, who woulda thought. tell me if you need any clarification much of that last paragraph was very pittsburgh-centric.

nursemyra said...

's ok I think I understood most of it by reading the other posts and comments. I hate it when people get all antsy with their opinions but still call themselves "anonymous"

John said...

first off the Brillobox is and has always been owned by native Pittsburghers, they did once live in New York, but came home to do something positive here.

And it's clear in this post that you obviously hate Pittsburgh abd Pittsburghers, so I don't understand why you even give a fuck what goes on here.


But i get it, you're a 'edgy-cool' hipster type (I mean dude, you have a fucken blog) And nothing is fun unless you're complaining about other people, so keep doing what you do, and maybe one day you won't hate yourself so much.

Kono said...

Dear John, I love you, can you email your facebook page so that we can be friends. if edgy and cool means kids and a job then i'm it, is this Soccer John the Dj? and by the way it's fuckin', i'm gonna call my therapist now and work on not hating myself, did you bother to read that post? hmmm. i wondering if the teach reading comprehension in the local schools but thanks for the correction on the brillobox it will definetely help me sleep better, now i'm gonna go pop a pbr and be all edgy and cool on my couch and see it the USA can beat T&T in a world cup qualifier cuts that's rad...

of course free will being what it is, i mean confounding and all, isn't it free will to have a fucken blog dude?

Kono said...

damn typos, see if the USA, and cuz that's rad. god i hate myself. on second thought i'm gonna turn on Vauxhall and I and mope.