Thursday, February 8, 2007

Smuggler's Blues

I've come to find that one of the benefits of being underemployed is how little people actually expect of you. This leaves me ample opportunity to experiment with any number of chemicals and still maintain my guise of upstanding citizen. So the other morning as i got stoned in the parking lot of a mini-mart, drinking coffee and eating one of those double chocolate donuts little did i know what the day had in store for me.

I drove to work, paid the parking attendant, got out of my car into the freezing cold weather and bang. "Snatchin up the govments in Columbia and Peru/ You ask any DEA man they say there's nothing we can do/ From the office of the president right to down to me and you-oo-oo/ It's a losing proposition but one you can't refuse it's the nature of the business it's the Smuggler's blues.

Fucking Glen Frey had taken over my brain. Not only the song but the absolutely kick-ass video that accompanied it as well. The interrogation rooms filled with smoke as they grill Glen and his woman. (Be cool for twenty hours and i'll give you twenty grand.) The great dialogue added in to the video as they search Glen's garbage.
"what do you guys got." asks the Sergeant
"we got garbage." replies the wise ass cop.

Being the post modern light bulb changer that i am i soon found myself walking around my place of employment speaking in a horrible, fake Bahamian accent. The same accent used by one Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs, partner of Sonny Crockett on the original Miami Vice and not the shit movie remake. Having studied Miami Vice extensively as a child of the suburbs i seemed to notice that the every time Rico went undercover to buy some blow the fake accent came out. This came in handy later in life cuz i learned never to buy anything from a well tanned, light skinned, slightly greasy, black man with a Bahamian accent.

Of course i can't forget that Glen Frey made i believe a few guest appearances on the show, hence the Michael Mann directed video where Glen finally gets his comeuppance for ripping of his Colombian business partners. It almost makes me think that the 80's were cool. It almost makes me want to don a Hawaiian shirt and cultivate a gigantic coke habit. But hey mon who got da money for dat mon.
And let's face it, Glen Frey looks like he could kick your ass. This picture don't lie. Hear dat Don Henley. Pussy ass.

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