The band ambled up on stage, the only backdrop a large velvet red curtain, it was a six piece with two guitars, bass, keyboards, drums and a multi-instrumentalist who played sax, flute, clarinet and a few other things... then after the band had picked up their instruments and taken their positions the man came strolling out, Josh Tillman aka Father John Misty, cool as fuck as usual in a dark suit, button down white shirt open at the neck and no tie... he gave a wave, said hello and the band immediately started into the first single from the latest album, an album that they would play in full (8 songs), i always think it takes balls to lead with the newest single and some shows he has not but if one is a FJM fan one knows his back catalog is stocked with great fucking tunes so it would be damn near difficult to play a crap setlist, yes one may not hear their favorites but the fact is it's going to be a good fucking show... and of course it was...
It was at this point that Meg had stated she hated this song, to which i responded really? she then began debating on whether she should run to get another beer but once again was worried about her kid, i once again said she'd be fine and Meg ran off, her daughter turned and smiled and said she worries too much to which i replied i can't believe she doesn't dig this song, i fucking love it! her daughter replied i know! so do i and we both went back to listening, i'm not one to talk much once the music starts, i find it horribly annoying when people do... i didn't come to this show to listen to you talk about your fucking job i came to the show to listen to great live music and fucking groove maaaan... and yes the mushrooms now in full flight i was fucking loving it...
Meg returned and it didn't take long to realize i may have made a mistake... i'm all for one enjoying the show, in fact i enjoy seeing people lose their shit, i've been known to do it, but sometimes people tend to think they are the show and Meg was beginning to strike me as one of those people... she began shouting for songs, singing way too loudly and off-key, doing some sort of interpretative dance... i had the feeling Meg may have been getting a little too drunk and i noticed, though i was pretty much just honing in on the music and stage, that her daughter was getting annoyed and embarrassed as well with at one point a small tiff breaking out where her daughter told her, in so many words, to tone it down as she was making a bit of an ass of herself... of course i think back to the summer and a certain old man almost passing out from getting so high but i believe the main difference was i was just hanging and enjoying the show when the geezer bit off a bit more than he could chew... i wasn't screaming lyrics while doing interpretative dance while disrupting everyone around me... at this point i had slid over a few more feet so i could be further away and enjoy myself...
And enjoy myself i did... drinking my water and hitting my pen and watching what i call a proper fucking rock star... for those not familiar Father John Misty is the stage persona of Josh Tillman, much like Ziggy or the Thin White Duke, it's an act and Josh understands that perfectly, in fact he was the drummer in Fleet Foxes as they began to hit it big and left because he didn't want to be a drummer in some band he wanted to make his own music, i dig that sorta self belief because it would have been a steady and decent paycheck playing drums in a band viewed as indie darlings... in fact i'd say at this point he's surpassed his old band...
But what is a proper fucking rock star? well that's someone who can flat out command the stage, captivate one's attention, old Josh here has stage presence and charisma to spare and he understands how to use it and when to step back and let the band shine, it's a wonder to behold, i'd put him up there with Bowie and Morrissey and Nick Cave when it comes to that and while i know that's a bold statement i stand by it... and how good was it? well interestingly enough he did (from what i can tell) a tour high four songs from my least favorite album of his and they were all fucking brilliant... two of which here right up at the top of my list as highlights of the show and it was on the train ride home as the boomers were working their way out of my system that i sat pondering that while the city went by... i caught my reflection in the glass with a slight grin cuz i knew i had just seen a great performance and damn if i wasn't fucking happy to be alive, to appreciate days like this, the cold walk, the drugs, the music, the people... fucking life's a trip now innit?
I will say that FJM does draw a large female crowd, let's face it the guy's good looking and charismatic and the last show in 2018 i had a good laugh watching the young men who had basically cultivated the FJM look much like the high school girls of my youth did with Pat Benetar... now i'll refer everyone here to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings video which features Aubrey Plaza, a woman who i find particularly fucking gorgeous... as i was watching the show i caught a young woman, i'm guessing mid 20s, who was my second favorite part of the show... unlike Meg she was dancing and singing her favorites with the sorta reckless abandonment that has always caught my eye, i chuckled to myself as i watched her boyfriend standing behind her a bit lost and i wanted to tap him on the solder and explain to him that i had the feeling he didn't know what he had and that he was one lucky motherfucker, granted like Aubrey she was an attractive brunette which has always been a bit of a weakness with the author.. but i go back to what i said earlier when i mentioned i enjoyed watching someone lose their fucking mind to music they love and this girl embodied all of that...
But that absolute highlight? well that was easy... Screamland... a song off the new record and one of the best he's ever done... it ebbs it flows it blows the fucking doors off, it loud it's quiet it's brilliant... in my humble opinion of course, standing there and listening to it, the mushrooms kicking, the music kicking, it's one of those experiences where every fucking nerve end in my body was vibrating, about the closest thing to an orgasm one can get without actually having one, it's one of those fleeting bits of that arbitrary thing called time where life and death and the rest doesn't matter, i am here in the place and it feels like the universe is flowing through me while these beautiful sounds fill my ears and mind, while these words trigger images and memories and feelings and i know that nothing really matters and it's all going to be alright...whatever the fuck that means... words will never really communicate the feeling because the feeling is so fucking gorgeous that there are no words for it... and it's here and then it's gone... and there is no use trying to catch it only to enjoy it, to be present, to understand and let it wash over you like an exquisite wave and when it passes you break the surface of the water and take a deep breath and know and the air never tasted so good...
Screamland ended and i took a deep breath and as he broke into another song of the new record, in fact the last five before the encore were all off the new record, i wandered out towards the smoking section.... i wanted a cigarette... i haven't had a smoke in a long time but every now and then... into the cold air and there was the young guy from the pisser i joked with earlier, i walked up and asked to buy a smoke off him cuz i admitted i might only take a few drags and toss it and i didn't want him to think i was wasting it, he told me to keep my money and give it to the homeless guy out front, i smiled and said will do and as fate would have it he pulled a pack of Parliaments out of his jacket, what the hipster kids smoke, what this hipster kid used to smoke back in the day... i grinned, lit my smoke and began to chat...
Taking a hit i exhaled and laughed, that tastes fucking good, glad i gave them up... my new friend, Matt then introduced me to his friends, a couple more guys and tiny girl, they joked about how they were discussing what the demographic for a FJM show would be and i said did you have 50 something psychedelic loving stoners on the list? they laughed and said of course, the girl then looked up at me and said, you have weed? i smiled back and said of course and handed her my pen and told her to smoke away, we discussed mushrooms and bars and of course my favorite dive in the world came up, a guy in a Carhart that was exactly like my first one (a coat which got it's own post years ago and i must mention i've only purchased two of these work coats in 30 plus years, quality goods) said that he loved the place as well and i started laughing, i said i'm not saying this to be ageist or some such shit but i had feeling i started frequenting the joint around the time he was born, he asked when and i said 1996, he laughed and stated that was in fact the year he was born, we talked more and i finished my smoke and wandered back in, i could hear my two least favorite songs from the new record (still good) as i talked outside but as the band broke into the title track i bolted back in and found a fine place at the back a bit more removed from Meg and her daughter..
The tiny girl, meaning roughly five feet tall, came up smiling and asked how i was doing, it took me a second to realize who she was and i laughed and said good, she asked how the mushrooms were and where i was at and i said the downside and that i'd be relatively cool by the time i got home, she introduced me to another hipster kid with funky mustache and we talked a bit about our favorite FJM records and then they came back out for the encore, four songs, and as the band finished i made my way into the cold night but not before stopping outside to hand the guy and his dog the money i said i'd give for my smoke... when the voice said thank you sir i realized this was basically just a kid, two of them to be exact, and handed them a couple more dollars while making sure i still had enough to get home just in case the trains shit the bed again...
I'd be remiss if i didn't mention that during the encore as i stood in back i felt a tap on my shoulder, i turned and there was Meg, she had her hair down and i got the impression she had made herself look nice as she smiled and told me that it was really great talking to me, i said likewise and smiling i mentioned that i got a bit lost on my way back and felt bad stepping in front of people to get back to my spot, she smiled and said no problem, hung there for a few seconds and then said, well have a good night, i said you too! tell your daughter it was nice to meet her as well, you two be safe... i could sense a bit of disappointment and i had the feeling Meg was hoping to exchange numbers but sadly that was not in the cards...
I traversed the parking lot and wandered into the train station, a below ground station and i was the only one there, laughing i thought to myself this is definitely a place to get mugged and somehow knew that would not happen, after five minutes or so a few more people arrived, all coming from the show and we talked and laughed about the mess the T was tonight, it was the same deal on the way back, on one train then off and on a bus and then onto another train... riding back through the city i was quite at ease with the world... i watched the lights and thought about how lovely the night had been and how good my makeshift bed would feel as my boy Paco would wander up and plop down as he purred away and gave me some headbutts... i know i'm not as young as i used to be and twenty years ago i'd have headed to the bar or found some such shit to get into... these days i'm wise enough to understand i need to get my ass home, of course maybe had it been warmer out i'd have thought differently but as i walked up the steps somewhere north of midnight i was glad to quietly open the door to be greeted by Paco and Archie... home...
For as much as i enjoy my forays with psychedelics while lounging on my couch there are times when one must get out and see the world and yes as stated i'm not as young as i used to be and yes there was a moment when i thought am i too old to be doing this shit? and then that grin creeps across my face and i laugh out loud and think fucking hell no... like Hunter Thompson once mentioned, i don't plan on entering the void well preserved so to speak, i'm gonna have my fun and live fucking hard, yeah i swim my laps and drink my smoothies and other times i take psychedelics and wander the streets... or as i thought sitting on that train and noticing my reflection in the glass... i've come a long way and gone nowhere at all...
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