So while i'm on the topic... i've been getting some things in order for my imminent demise, not that i'm planning on checking out any time soon but then again no one really knows when their number is up or their card is pulled either naturally or unnaturally residing here in the large and unhinged asylum known as Merica... so in order to make it easier on the boyos when that time comes around the BW and i have started the process of wills and what to do with our bodies when we have left this mortal coil and gone back to the organic matter from which we sprang...
There has always been a debate around these parts on how and what to be done with the "remains" as they are so lovingly (snark) called... cremation was always the first option but the more i delved into the idea the more i wasn't so sure... not that i wanted one of those "proper and religious" type things, being a card carrying heathen that didn't really jive with my liking either... and so various bits of research was done and what both i and the BW had come up with was something, that i, a tree-hugging hippie in grunge clothing would love... the new wave in monetizing one's demise by the death merchants (or what i'm sure the marketing boys have dubbed the Post Life Accommodations) meaning the environmental burial... what is the environmental burial you ask? I'll explain...
In a nutshell? it means that one day i'll be fertilizer... the premise is that since we are organic matter we'll be put in the ground organically so that as the elements of our body break down they can be used to do something other than taking up space in an expensive casket that is keeping us "preserved" or whatever the term is, in our Sunday best so that when we get to the pearly gates we look presentable... since i don't give fuck all about the pearly gates or any other gates for that matter and understanding that every part of my body was made and born of stars, i'd prefer to put what's left of me back into the system in a way i see fit... meaning i'm gonna get stuck in the ground and they'll plant a tree on top of my dead ass which in turn will use me, or the former or physical part of me, as a source to grow... so i'll be a tree, sort of, and instead of an expensive piece of rock in a field of other expensive rocks there will be a small marker and a tree growing... and really, how fucking cool is that?
The BW has already splashed down the cash and it seems there are roughly 33 or so of these places in the States and a more overseas (say if i up and fuck off to Portugal to finish off my days or maybe head south to Costa Rica) which means i can be a tree pretty much anywhere i happen to expire... having agreed to be a tree i'm not sure what sort of tree i'll be, i'm not sure if you have a choice or if the joint takes a look at you and decides... hmm, he's tall and in relatively good shape, i'd say oak or maple... of course i'm sure they won't be planting blueberry or strawberry bushes on my dead ass due to the fact i'm sure the living would be skeeved out be the fact the plants were sucking the last useful nutrients out of me... which is fine, either way i'm somewhat back in the universe i just won't be me... but as Alan Watts often points out, what were you before you were born?
There is that wonderful picture on the cover of Pale Blue Dot, the book by Carl Sagan, where Carl talks about the tiny blue dot in the photo taken by Voyager 1 that shows our insignificant little dust particle drifting through the universe, how every human every born has lived and died on that dot, billions of them, how odd it is that we have this need to mark where we put these people, they are gone, they live only in the memories of those who loved and knew them, we'll all get there sooner or later, how in a generation or two we'll most likely be forgotten... i was listening to a guy speak (doom scrolling kids) about how all the stuff we buy in the mall is useless junk that is meaningless, he points out the exact same thing, how we'll be remembered for a few years and then drift off, who knows the name of their grandfather's grandfather? so instead of perusing the malls of commerce use that same cash to do something, love a little, live a little, even if that means fucking off from the job and laying in the grass and staring at the clouds as the drift by or sitting on a porch and listening to the rain, modern life has become one long race of consumption, when i look around and see all the useless shit, the race for expensive cars and bigger houses and social status i think why? yeah maybe i'm getting old and mellowing in my old age (or maybe not) but still it's all a colossal waste of time and energy...
There is a part of me that would very much like to end up in some warm locale, a tiny house, a record player and some records, some books to read or reread, close enough or near enough to walk to an ocean, a few cats, maybe a dog, a goat, some chickens, walking barefoot on baked ground in the dry season and a big pair of rubber boots for the rainy season, of course i'd have to look into whether i could be planted in the ground like i plan but i'll figure it out, of course i could say there is time but we never know how much of that is left... and what is time anyway? a way for humans to count, a way for many of us to worry about what day it is or the number of times we've circled this very average star in a minor part of the universe (now i'm stealing from Hawking), maybe i'm just understanding, more now than in my wasted youth, to enjoy the ride, the good bits and the rough bits, cuz eventually that ride will be over... and i'll be a tree... or at least i like to think of it that way...
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Yesterday marked the sixth anniversary of the day my father died... i got in the pool and did my laps, ran all over the place getting ready for Disaster's hoop tournament, stopped and gazed at the clouds, laid around for a bit with my cat... and i'll repeat the thing i once said about him... he was the most intelligent and compassionate man i have ever known, he was a gem, an absolute fucking gem... and i miss him.
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