Not surprisingly, there is no place on Earth easier to score weed than Jamaica... and that's how it should be... the whole island benefits from the growing and cultivation of some of the best (or in my humble opinion, THE BEST) herb on the planet, and after years of somewhat fighting against it the powers that be have come to embrace it. If you have a US med card you can use it in Jamaica, it's now legal to possess up to three ounces of herb and grow up to five plants, in fact in another forward thinking move by government my other favorite bit of organic matter, mushrooms, are also taking off on the island as they have never been outlawed and now the government is actually encouraging investment in mushrooms as another way to bring in revenue and tourists ... as for the weed? they realized it's the biggest cash crop around and are now using it to spur the economy even more... there are actual dispensaries where the going rate is about $7 a gram, a bit better than you get from the local guy on the beach but that also involves a cab ride, a med card, etc so i'm happy to report that the little guy is still, at the moment, thriving...
The trips to Jamaica have been well documented and i'll admit i was lucky on my first trip, a sharp-eyed bartender noticed the forlorn look of the weedless in my eyes and had me sorted in short order by his partner, a cleaner, in the bathroom, a handful of the Blue Mountain Sticky Wicket as i call it for $60, it was probably close to 10 grams, i was ecstatic. Like any good stoner i've become adept at doing the research so that when i hit a place i can score my weed, learn the tricks of the locals and understand how to haggle a bit and get what i want, i understand they may be tourists "prices" but as long as i'm getting the right gear that's cool, i want to support the local weed slinger and prepare accordingly with money specifically set aside for the trip. While my first two trips i had to wait until i got the resort to find my gear now it's a bit of a free for all... in short, weed has exploded in Jamaica... which is saying something considering how popular it was before...
This time i wasn't out of the airport parking lot before i was being propositioned to buy some ganja... as i walked over the bus (see previous post) to get our ride to Negril, some 80km from Montego Bay, i was drinking my first of many Red Stripes... the driver on noticing then asked if i did anything else, i smiled and said yes i do and made the universal sign for smoking herb, he then told me to meet him at the back of the bus to which i stated my sons where in the back of the bus and i'd prefer not to do anything in front of them... he said no problem and he'd get me... so i got on the bus and a few minutes later he asked if i could step off as he had a question about which bag was mine to make sure it was in the right spot... i had to admire the line as it was definitely a professional move, one used before i'm sure on suburban dads who wanted to score gear as quickly as possible... the problem was i'm a bit different when it comes to the weed game and scoring gear in exotic locales... i smiled at him and said "sure no problem" and got off the bus...
And so i walked to the side of the bus with the driver who proceeded to pull out a packet of weed and tell me $60... i had managed to scrape together about $200 bucks for my slush fund for this trip and like an idiot i bought some drinks at the airport... one beer, a daiquiri, and a virgin daiquiri... when the waitress said $32 i actually said, American? she smiled and said yes honey... knowing the BW would be put off in the first ten minutes of arriving if i asked for cash i handed the waitress $35 and knew that i had just spent a decent chunk of my weed money, not that i was going to spend it all on weed but if need be i had no problem doing just that but mainly because i love the ganja cake and was interested in maybe obtaining some ganja tea... and so as the driver tossed the weed down for me to look at i asked if i could smell it, he said sure and i picked up what looked like 3-4 grams and smelled it... it was not what i was looking for... i politely declined and explained that's not the Blue Mountain Stick Wicket (BMSW), that i had been here a couple times before and i know what i'm looking for... he said, no problem no problem, i got what you need but it's expensive, he then pulled out another small package, (they were all pre-packaged which immediately raised a red flag) and said this was it but that it was more expensive, $100... i picked it up, gave a good sniff and said no thanks, i'll wait... Jamaican men are well know for their forwardness, the no bullshit and aggressive attitude and the driver kept pushing for the sale... i finally, a bit more firmly stated, listen sir no disrespect but no, i'll take my chances, told him i had a card and could to a dispensary where it was roughly $7 a gram and that i know of at least two in Negril... he begrudgingly accepted temporary defeat and i got back on the bus... luckily he had one or two more customers who got taken by his high price and not knowing the game... when he got to the resort he pulled me aside for one last attempt, the $100 bag had dropped to $60... i said no thanks again and as he told me i'd have a hard time finding weed i smiled and told him i'd take my chances.
After a long day of travel, a couple beers and not nearly as much water as i usually drink in a day, by that evening my head was pounding... i needed to some gear pronto... so while the boyos walked around the resort, the BW and i took a walk down on the beach because that's where the action is, look for the lighter flick and the whispers from the shadows, i knew it was there that i'd find what i needed... it took roughly five minutes or so.
We walked up the beach but i found no one but on going back the other way it didn't take long, near the main walkway, now shrouded in the Caribbean night, i saw a man in the shadows... the BW then turned up the walkway to wait while i said hello to the guy in the shadows... he said he was the Nightman, which made me laugh and i said, nice to meet you i'm the Dayman... which made him laugh... though i don't think he was a fan of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia... we proceeded to talk for a minute and it turned out the Nightman aka Sheriff Joseph had just what i was looking for... it was around this time when the resort security guard walked up, he was standing behind my new friend and i told him someone was behind him, there was a brief exchange in patois and then the guard asked to see my wristband, he wanted to make sure i was staying at this resort as apparently Sheriff Joseph was so popular people from outside would wander in to buy his weed... a strange encounter to say the least as the guard wasn't concerned with my buying grass only that i was staying at the resort... wristband shown, he moved on and the Sheriff and i got back to business.
As usual he offered me the shit weed first and as usual i asked to smell it... he handed me a rather well used plastic container that once held peanuts and i took a whiff... i handed it back and told him that's not it... i explained i'd been here before and that i knew what i was looking for, what it looked like, the aroma... yah mon he chuckled, i know it, and he then pulled out another jar and immediately offered it to me, i took a good sniff and smiled, that's it. We then discussed a price and he began shaking out the bud into a plastic bag... i asked if he could get me ganja cake and he said of course mon! i have it here, i smiled and asked, you have it now? yah mon, he said and then pulled out a bar wrapped in foil, $40 he said, i have the best ganja cake around... i took it and checked it out, i could smell the weed in it, asked about how much to take and he held up his pinkie and said, like dis mon... i smiled and said perfect... i asked if he was always down here and he said, yah mon... told him i'd probably need more at some point and then he said, i give it now and you go get the money, i said really? yah mon i trust.. and so he shook out some more bud into another bag, i put it into my pocket and told him i'd be back in a few minutes, that i needed to go to my room and more cash... yah mon, no problem.
I went up the walk, explained the deal to the BW and then hustled back to my room... i grabbed some cash, stashed the stash, and then opened my package of ganja cake and broke a piece off, popped in my mouth, took a long drink of water and then headed back. I found Sheriff Joseph, settled the tab and then made my way back to my room to lie down and get rid of my pounding headache... Sheriff was quite adamant that he had the best ganja cake around, that other dealers on the beach would say they were him, say they had the ganja cake but that they did not... he told me to look for him and the badge he wore, a toy sheriff's badge that he clipped to his shirt... i nodded and said that i would make sure it was him, thanked him and took leave in that traditional Jamaican way, respect he said, respect i replied, a quick fist bump and i was off. (to be cont.)
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