The Mushroom Diaries - Vol. 22 & 23 & 24 (an odds and sods old post)

 #22 - A funny thing happened on the way to the other side... you see i ate my little friends and was laying on the couch as i usually do waiting for the synapses to begin their twitching, waiting to receive the universe in all it's brilliance, ancient light flowing through the mind and body communicating things we otherwise would normally be unaware of without the use of either these lovely bit of fungi or hours of mediation... i was on that couch and could feel that strange and beautiful cosmic energy begin to flow, i took a deep breath... i shut my eyes.. i had a content grin on my face... and then i fell asleep. It was a long day and i was tired but this was something different... i fell asleep... and didn't wake up for the next 7 hours... and fucking hell was it awesome.... a lovely state of nothingness that led to one of the best sleeps i've had in years... when i looked at the clock there was a moment of, what the fuck just happened? and then a quiet laugh with the sunrise that nothing had happened... which was everything... dig? 

The interesting thing is it's not as if i haven't fallen asleep before on the boomers it's just that i've never fallen asleep and slept right through the trip/night... in a way one could feel shortchanged by such an event but on the contrary i felt rather lucky. Why? i don't know exactly other than those cosmic bits of shroom did exactly what they were supposed to and directed me exactly where they wanted me to go... the no-mind state of eternal sleep... i got out of bed, took a long drink of water, stretched like a newborn discovering his limbs for the first time and said "Damn!", the whole time thinking, how fucking cool was that? 

#23 - So there i was, in my usual spot on the couch/bed that is my home, tucked away in my cave and having a good stretch as the fungus kicked in... i was tuned to my usual favorite videos and i was thinking to myself about how every time i take these things i tend to do the same thing, to watch the same things, granted the reason i watched certain videos or more aptly listened to while i stared at the ceiling, was for the daydreams, the reverie, the lovely stories that i spun in my head, a pleasant and calm way of entertaining myself. It's wonderful how these bits of fungi just open doors in the mind, how they fill one with peace and love and sorta lay out the truth right in front of you. What we do with that truth is up to us but it's there and once back from the trip we can decided what to do with the things revealed. Often i think of the boyos, of Pops, even of the BW and how things have gone south. 

It was on this night as i sat in my dark room, a room i've now occupied for close to five years, how irreparably damaged things are between the BW and i... it's a relationship that's run it's course, in all honesty had run it's course some 20 years ago but now there are other lives involved so we do our best to present this facade, this mirage of a functioning household. My biggest worry being what it's showing the boyos as they watch their parents, two people who  often seem to get along but who don't seem to have much love or affection for each other. Granted the BW would dispute this because she appears to believe in the mirage but i have no illusions as to where this thing stands. At some point i'll probably sit them down and explain that their parents did the best they could but that they should use our relationship as an example of what not to strive for, laying there in the dark i almost thought i should walk up the steps and apologize to the BW for this disaster and my part in it but then thought better of it. Understanding that A) if i had to wake her up i'd be chastised for it, and B) she'd probably look at me and ask how high i was or if i was tripping... of course at that point i'd just smile and walk back down the steps and into my cave... but maybe the point being is these things grant the ability to look and ruminate on things openly and honestly without any preconceived notions and allow us to go from there... 

#24 - Now one might be reading these missives on mushrooms and ask, does this fucking guy ever have any fun? or does he just lay around dwelling on the state of the universe? the answer would be that i consider dwelling on the state of the universe, existence, non-existence, love, etc. to be fun... but sometimes you just want to trip and listen to tunes and smoke copious amounts of ganja and smile at the world cuz in the words of Bill Hicks... It's all just a ride... why take it so seriously? and so i did set out on this night to scrap what had become a routine, i dialed up different tunes, i wandered around the downstairs, shucking and jiving to ancient celestial music, i spent a good deal of time gazing out the window... i saw a brilliant fucking shooting star blaze across the sky (there was a meteor shower that night) and immediately said,"hi dad" and smiled. I had no idea where the time went but hung out with my new cat, Fat Paco, as i told him about all his brethren and sistren that he never met, i scratched between his ears, he curled up purring and went to sleep, and i turned off everything and listened to the sounds of a sleeping world and my breathing, really not a bad way to spend an evening.

and now since it's been damn near a year? since the last Wilderness Years post it's time to get back to finishing what i've started... granted kids it may not be for the faint of heart and any semblance of our protagonist being a decent human being will be obliterated but...  it's on the way... this poor remnant was laying about the draft bin and since i'm lazy and a bit busy it finally has been given a quick dust off... onwards and upwards...