Revisionist History - Podunk Summer pt. 9

 Friday finally rolled around and i spent the better half of the afternoon cleaning up the apartment, drinking and getting high, all in anticipation of Sharon's arrival... sound familiar? When she arrived i gave her an even quicker tour of the place then Cherry had gotten before leading her into the bedroom and getting down to business. Yes i was all class, a quick five minute tour and then get to the fucking, subtle as a flamethrower this one here, nothing like making the intentions known, i could have at least been honest and stated that i only really wanted you here for the sex, after which i'll spend the evening getting fucking wasted before we adjourn back to my room for more sex, then sleep, then a bit more fucking in the morning before you're sent packing and i go back to bed. 

By the time of this get together Sharon and i had gotten even further apart on the social spectrum type thing. She had joined a sorority where she attended school, the late 80s hair had calmed down a bit but was still bigger than an art star like myself would find acceptable, in fact to me at this time she was very white and suburban (and somehow i wasn't?) and entrenched quite firmly in her views of how life should go. College, husband, work, children etc etc... I on the other hand was just as firmly entrenched in the teachings of one Henry Miller and Charles Bukowski... i wanted to drink and fuck and write and live like a bum with the main point being  to live... if the demise of my nuclear family did anything to me it was driving home the point that this "American Dream" myth was pure horseshit. I had no use for conventional society or it's ways, i wanted to eat acid and ponder the universe, write bad poetry about guys like Robinson Jeffers, i wasn't about to "get married" or "procreate", fuck all that, i was livin' man!! Fuck that white picket fence and two car garage, i was all about shit rooms and cheap wine. Honestly i was an unsufferable bastard, i'm sure given a time machine i'd travel back and punch myself in the face for being such a knob end. Then again that's the beauty of it, to make those gorgeous mistakes and keep on going, hopefully learning something in the process... or maybe not. 

This particular Friday night was shaping up to be a rather slow one to say the least. It looked like it would be another small party at the apartment and maybe a walk to the bar. I wanted to keep Sharon hidden as i was such a callous prick i was a bit embarrassed by her, yes i was a fucking asshole who thought he was too fucking cool for a semi-big haired chick from the burbs and the last impression i wanted to give was that i actually cared for or liked this girl. I was quite the cock to say the least. I also didn't need any of Julia's friends spotting me hanging with Sharon and so i did my best to steer us towards a night in... which i did. I think the highlight of the night was taking a walk down Main St. due to the fact Sharon was sick of all the smoke in the apartment, ah the early 90s when smoking was so cool everyone did it, when the phrase "i only smoke when i drink" should have been a temporary tattoo stuck on every forearm of every grunge wannabe... and so when she could stand it no more we took a walk. 

Walking Podunk's Main St. in summertime was like walking a Norman Rockwell painting... quaint streetlights, sparse traffic, small businesses, all of which were closed of course except for the mini-marts and the two bars that sat on the street, on of which was the "swanky" bar/club where the town professionals and professors hung out along with what seemed like all the foreign exchange students. The other a dive with a pool table which played mainly the commercial radio station dialed in from the big city south of here. Yinz know the one. There were no chain stores at all except for a 7-11 and a Uni-Mart... my how times have changed. We walked and talked. We didn't hold hands and i did my best to now and then make some physical contact but i was also on the lookout for anyone who might know me or Julia. Being summer the chances were slim because the place was deserted especially by 10pm. The only saving grace of attending university in a place so devoid of action (unless you made it yourself which i was quite adept at... with the help of psychedelics mind you) was that it made it easy for me to get through school and graduate. 

When we hit the end of Main St. we turned and walked back. By the time we got to the apartment things had begun to mellow out. Of the maybe ten people that were there only a few were left so we loaded up the bong for a session. Sharon didn't smoke weed and wasn't all that fond of it but did her best to pretend not to mind. After an hour or so of getting stoned and bullshitting, an hour in which it seemed as if Sharon enjoyed herself, probably due to me not worrying about us being seen and the people remaining being laid back and wasted, we adjourned to my room for what was ostensibly the whole reason for this visit. Sex. We walked in, shut the door and began kissing, it was old hat to us, there was no fumbling or messing about and i can say if there was one thing i liked about Sharon is that she enjoyed sex. Not in the sleep with anyone type of way but in the way that if she liked you she was always pretty much down for it. I had special standing as "her first". 

And so a pleasant night of rutting and slumber gave way to the dawn... oh yes the dawn, the light of day, when things come into focus and we realize what a mess we've made... that is of course if one is not oblivious to the situation and being in a lovely state of an almost perpetual stupor i thought everything was hunky dory. So on stirring from our slumber in slowly slid my hand between Sharon's thighs, the joys of sleeping naked, we again went at it and when finished i rolled over and fell into a half-sleep. I felt Sharon roll out of bed and put on some clothes and make her way to the bathroom. When she came back she began packing her things. I sat up on my elbow and asked why she was leaving so soon? I need to go was all she said. I asked if she wanted to come back next weekend? She laughed and sarcastically said, yeah right. She gave a wry smile and said, you're an  asshole. She slung her bag over her shoulder and walked out of my room. I jumped out of bed and threw on some shorts and followed her down the steps and out into the parking lot. 

The sun had come up quick and hot and the parking lot was a dry and dusty wasteland of cracked dirt. There sat her Camaro and she opened the door and threw her bag into the back seat. Then she turned and faced me and unloaded... you're a fucking loser, she began. It was about this time that i realized that i had a bit more than a mild hangover, nothing epic but a decent enough one that would necessitate a bong hit or two and few more hours sleep, a Gatorade and with any luck a bacon and cheese omelet. Sharon continued, you're a burnout, a fucking pothead loser drunk, i don't even know what happened to you but all you want to do is get wasted and be an ass, this was horrible, i don't know why i even stayed the night, i show up and you reek of weed and beer and lead me straight to your room, you're an asshole. I stopped her for a second, you didn't seem to mind i said. I didn't, she shot back, probably because i'm a fool who has always had some feelings for you but realize now you're just a dick, the only reason you had me come up here was to have sex with you. There were times last night were it seemed you were embarrassed of me, like your so fucking cool you pothead! Nice life you have, i felt bad for you with what's happening with your mom and dad but fuck you! you're just a jerk and you don't have to worry about this ever happening again. 

I stood there in the baking heat of the parking lot, not a cloud in the sky as the sun beat down on my pounding hangover, my head throbbing, my stomach turning, my mouth dry, i wanted to crawl back in bed and pass out and here i was being berated at 9AM. It wasn't exactly the way i wanted to start my day, granted i did get laid not that long ago so there was that but it was little consolation at the moment. Sharon stood there glaring at me in bicycle shorts and t-shirt, an uncool ensemble for an art star like me though comments like that only provide more evidence of her assessment of my being a dickhead being spot on. Well, she said, don't you have anything to say? 

I stood back and smiled. As a matter of fact i do, i began. Shall i start at the beginning? thus began my soliloquy... First off i never wanted this suburban dream you seem to fantasize about so much, fuck that, i don't want to go to some job i hate, i don't want to get married or have kids, i want to fucking live! i'm gonna write and paint and fuck, you think you're the only girl i've called up here to Podunk? no sweetheart you were just the surest thing and boy was i fucking right about that, this disdain you seem to have for the way i live didn't seem to stop you from spreading your legs every chance you've gotten for the last 24 hours or whatever the fuck it is... Sharon stood there, here lip beginning to quiver and her eyes welling which of course just egged the asshole in me on even more... What's the matter? i continued, hitting to close to home? well you go ahead and fucking cry, like i give a shit, i don't want what you're selling, so why don't you fuck off back home and find some willing sap to marry you and fulfill this fantasy of yours, go crank out a couple kids, get fat, be boring as hell, in short everything i despise, sayanora Sharon! It's been a pleasure, now fuck off! 

Yes I had cranked the asshole up to 11 and poor Sharon just stood there trying to hold it together... you're a dick!! fuck you!! she spat out again, enjoy being a druggy and a bum... I most certainly fucking will, i smiled... and with that she wiped the tears from her eyes, got in her Camaro, and peeled out of the parking lot and sped down the street. I laughed thinking i hoped she'd get a ticket. At the time i was quite impressed with myself and my lovely speech, the universe, in my egomaniacal view, was spinning lovingly around my dirty ass and therefore i was obviously right about everything... i was a dickhead almost without peer. About this time as i stood in the cloud of dust left by Sharon's tires i realized just how hungover i was going to be, the sweat beading on my brow, i trudged back up the steps and packed up the bong, ripped a gigantic hit, coughed for a minute, threw water on my face and grabbed my last Gatorade from the fridge. I walked back into my room and fell into a bed with dirty sheets, the remnants of a days worth of screwing, and passed out. (to be cont...)