And so with the holidays approaching and a month long break from school i spent a good deal of time with Cherry doing what we did best... having sex, hitting the clubs, having more sex, going to karaoke bars cuz she was once a singer in a band and liked belting out the B-52s, usually while i wandered around the bar on acid because if there was one thing i really enjoyed doing in those days it was tripping among the general population, i used to call it my Third Eye so i could see what was really going on which in reality meant i probably seemed like a real fucking weirdo to the denizens of suburban karaoke bars though downtown at the clubs i pretty much fit right in.
That fateful night of Jan. 3 i was actually getting ready to go out with Cherry when i went looking for my parents who had disappeared. I walked down the steps into the basement where my mother used to cut hair for a gaggle of women and a few neighbors. It was her way to make tax free money and little did she know what her young son would learn from this... nudge nudge wink wink. They were back towards the laundry room and i could see the stress and tension on both their faces but particularly on my father's. I said something about ordering a pizza and my dad said go ahead and i walked back up the steps. I never actually ordered that pizza which was probably a good thing since no one would have picked it up as about ten minutes later my parents came up and called my big sister and i into the kitchen. It was left to my father to break the news as my mother sat misty-eyed listening.
At that moment one couldn't have guessed who was the catalyst for the divorce but as soon as the news was broken my sister erupted in a tirade screaming at my mom that she was a selfish bitch who once again was doing nothing more than fucking up her (my sister's) life. Big Sis was due to get married that summer and was just starting to plan things and this was obviously going to fuck things up. She stormed off to her room as my father followed behind her to try and calm her down and talk to her. I was still standing where i had been from the start, leaning against the counter looking back at the three other members of my family. I had never seen my dad look like that before, a look of hurt and defeat, a look that for the first time in my life he didn't know what to do. My mother and i stood silent and then i walked into my room. A few minutes later she knocked and came in and said she was sorry and that she didn't want me to hate her. I was still reeling and confused by her statements but i told her not to worry and then she did what would soon become her MO, she went into her room and locked the doors.
Sometimes you blink... and everything changes. My plan that year was to finish school and come home for the summer so i could hang with Cherry. Now i didn't know what to do. Cherry drove me back from my semester break a few days earlier than i had planned and she stayed a couple nights before heading back to Cleveland. Things were up in the air but since i had this way of appearing as a fine young man to the parents of the young ladies i courted, thought i'd get all Victorian for a minute, Cherry's parents actually broached the idea that i could live with them for the summer if i wanted. It was a generous offer but one that i couldn't and wouldn't take. Yes if things fell apart i could move home, she only lived ten minutes from my parents, but it was more the feeling of being trapped, domesticity was not something i was looking to get involved with at that point in my life, in fact the only thing i really wanted to be involved with was drinking, tripping, fucking and having a good time. In the back of my mind it felt like a trap. The reality is it probably wasn't, more just people trying to help and wanting to see their daughter happy. Unfortunately it soon became a point of contention between Cherry and i which led to a slow disintegration of our relationship.
Cherry kept coming to see me over the course of the semester but as these long distance things do, the times between us seeing each other got longer and longer. She was frustrated with my never coming home for a weekend even when she offered to drive me back and forth, what she didn't understand was just how fucked my house was at this point. My big sis had finally moved out and the house was now divided into sections, it was a tough place to visit and didn't feel remotely like home anymore other than i could go and hang with my father. By this time more info had come to light and i barely even spoke to my mother and knowing i wielded the knife that cut deepest when it came to my mom, her prize baby boy, i became adept with the blade and used it indiscriminately.
Then of course there was the matter of my dick... which tended to lead my astray when it came to women... maybe it would have helped if i'd adopted Nancy Reagan's mantra of "Just Say No" but when it came to sex and drugs that word never really entered the lexicon. Dog or Tomcat, take your pick, but if left to my own devices i was not what one would call the most faithful of sorts, unless that meant satisfying my own whims and wants. At my most caddiest, a word i may have just invented, i had come home to the apt one night with an old flame from the year before, a girl who had a predilection for an almost obscene amount of foreplay, to which i once told her she read to much Cosmo, i knew this going in when i extended the offer and i knew it when she accepted said offer, it was a definite mistake on my part but i figured maybe she had lightened up on the whole foreplay deal.
So we walked back to my hovel in Podunk Park, a set of apartments that were the closest thing Podunk got to slums, located behind a glass plant they were cheap and known for parties and for the local police always loitering about. On entering the place i remembered that i had some pictures of Cherry taped to the wall, i smiled at my old flame and said, pardon me but i need to make sure my roommate isn't here, and then dashed into my room quickly ripping the pictures off the wall as fast as i could and stashing them in a drawer. I then nonchalantly returned to the living area and invited my friend back.
We began our usual ritual of making out while our clothes fell on to the floor and flopped into my bed... but ah those best laid plans, for some reason i thought this time might be different, that there wouldn't be an hour or more of rolling about before we got to the fucking but alas i was mistaken. Don't get me wrong, i don't mind the rolling about, in fact i quite enjoy it but after a certain point it's time to get down to the animal rutting. The problem was it was late and i was tired and this whole process was really getting on my nerves. Did i mention i was a complete bastard? and so finally i just stopped, i lay there on my back staring at the ceiling and thinking how lovely sleep was going to be... right after i rubbed one out of course. She cocked herself up on one elbow and asked me what was wrong? I laughed, you should go i said. What? she was confused.
Thus began my soliloquy... listen, i began, i've never met a woman who requires or even wants this much foreplay, i mean it's fucking ridiculous, i don't mind it but at some point it would be nice to just fuck you know? it's the same routine every time, i mean have you found other guys who find this shit enjoyable after hours of playing about? really by the time we get to it i'm either bored out of my mind or pissed that i have to take what feels like a test before screwing. For shit sake i'd rather just finish myself off and go to bed, you can leave or stay i don't really care but i'm going to sleep.
She had a rather high voice which got higher when she was upset and she stood up and looked at me and said, i don't understand you. I'll make it easy, i said, i have a girlfriend, i ran in my room when we got here to take the pictures of the wall. What? she looked incredulous. The pics are in that drawer i said, if you'd like to see them. She was putting on her clothes now as she yelled, You're an asshole!!! I know, was all i could muster in response. The spat had restored some energy and so i decided maybe it was a good idea for her to get back into bed. The response was a hearty "Fuck you!" and she turned, walked out my room and slammed the apartment door. I got up, locked the door and then collapsed into bed and passed out. (to be cont.)