The Wilderness Years - Hey - An Xmas Tale

Over the course of the years the holidays were often very good to me when it came to women. Not that i went out looking for anything in particular just things always seemed to fall nicely into place. Call it dumb luck if you will but i understand now that women liked me. Maybe it was my wayward self who seemed to need some guidance or maybe it was just the fact i looked like a good time to certain females. And so it was that my first Xmas back in the burgh after an ill fated stint in grad school found me staring down the prospect of a few days alone in my apartment. Now don't get the impression that this was going to be some maudlin affair, i was quite happy about the prospect of being alone in my transient hood of half-wits and low-lives all milling about and waiting for the bars to open as this was the type of neighborhood that had bars open on the birth of little ole baby Jeebus. Two months earlier i had made the acquaintance of one Hippy Jack and since then things had gone swimmingly. I had begun to save some money and had enough jack in my pocket to have a fairly swell night out any time i so chose but let's not loose the thread here

I had first met Delilah down at the shore, the infamous summer of Audrey and Elise, she was dating a co-worker/quasi friend of mine. She hailed from the fair burgh as did most of the people i ran with. She was still a kid really, 17 at the time and the guy she was dating loved to tell anyone and everyone just how much fun she was, how she liked girls as well, how in love she was with him. He had a penchant for talking like he was in the know about all things hip and cool, a bit of an opinionated dick who could be a moody prick at the Fry Hut when he didn't get his way, doing his best to ingratiate himself to the boss so that he could get the easy gigs. Back then i was the wild-eyed boy from Freecloud, the fledgling poet/painter who loved psychedelic drugs like fish loved water. The boss loved me for my innate ability to work like an ox know matter how fucked up i was and our boy, seeing this, did his best to associate himself with me whenever he could.

The beauty of the shore was the open air flop-houses that we all occupied, the old whorehouse where i lived that summer always had the door open and you could usually find someone willing to get fucked up at any time of day. I was pre-Fry Hut when i first met Delilah, grifting the graveyard shift register at the 7/11 (until of course i was seconds from getting a gun pointed at me hence my exit from that job to my next gig at the Fry Hut.) I was drifting away from our friend Angel (as in dust) and drifting into Audrey and some acid and specials (the name for the joints i rolled where i covered the paper in hash oil), listening to an inordinate amount of Pavement, the VU, and Jane's Addiction. I had a stack of books, an easel, and a stereo in my sweltering room and it was there where our boy first brought Delilah to meet me ostensibly to show off his prize.

She was already built like the proverbial brick shithouse and she batted her eyes at me and told me she had heard a lot about me, looked at the easel and some small watercolors lying about, was in awe of the books stacked up. A pile heavy on Bukowski and the Beats, mainly Burroughs and Keroauc, some Celine and Nelson Algren, gazed at the CDs and asked to play something, Jane's Addiction as it was her favorite at the time. I rolled up a bomber while her boy grabbed some beers from the fridge downstairs, whose they were i had no idea, and we settled back for a bit of session and talked. Back then i was pretty good in the conversation department. She spent a good part the gab session smiling sexily at me, i could tell i had my hooks in.

Fast forward three years. I'm back in the burgh, the weed business up and running. One day the phone rang and who should it be but Delilah. She had gotten my number from someone and she wondered if she could score some weed. She said she'd love it if we could hang out sometime as well. I said that sounded excellent and so we talked a bit and tried to work out a time when she could stop over. Seemed she was working second shift and going to school so her time was tight but it just so happened that she was off for a few days for Xmas after her shift, one Saturday Dec. 23. Great i said, why don't you swing by then. She said it wouldn't be until after 11 and i told her not to worry as i was off the next day and my roommates were all out of town. Perfect she purred into the phone.

To say the thought of taking Delilah to bed was in the back of my mind would have been a lie, it was much closer to the front. So that night, being the classy guy i was, i bought the booze she requested and grabbed a pizza. I sat and waited anxiously, doing a little last minute business, shuffling people out the door and trying not to get too fucked up in the process. Sometime after 11pm there was a knock on the door. Apparently she had hit the wrong buzzer and the gay couple who lived below let her in. She looked like sex with her pixie cut and short skirt, she shivered from the cold and i ushered her into the apartment and asked if she wanted a drink. I handed her the drink and we took a seat on the zebra and leopard print couch that my roomies and i had rescued from a curb back in October. There was one lamp on and white xmas lights that had been strung up around the living room (which of course never came down.)

It may not come as a surprise that the conversation did not last long. She was not wasting any time and as we smoked a joint she leaned over and said why don't you take this hit, took a pull, put the joint in in the ashtray, and was kissing me before i knew what happened. In fact never had i witnessed or been the object of such skill when it came to, for lack of a better word, seduction. She had maneuvered my cock out of my pants and into her mouth with such dexterity and professionalism that had i not been so presently occupied i would have stood and applauded. There is no need to go into the play by play but let's just say the zebra and leopard print couch needed to be cleaned up afterward. It was the beginning of a fine night.

Round one over we finished the joint and she stated she didn't need to be anywhere and i suggested she just stay over. Let it be said there are not many finer things in life than finishing a post coital joint with a beautiful, naked woman. She then led me down the hall to my bedroom where we fell onto my mattress on the floor. She put the stereo on softly. We rolled around until exhaustion finally took us both, passing out entangled in each other. The next morning started much like the night finished. It was a little after noon when she said she needed to get going. She stood in my room getting dressed smiling at me, i asked did she need any weed? she smiled and said no she just wanted to come over. She leaned over and kissed me and walked out the door. As i laid there listening to her shoes and the click of the door i stared at the ceiling, a content grin on my face, the sounds of xmas eve day seeping into my room. Merryfuckingchrismas indeed i thought, merryfuckingchristmas indeed.