Pre-Wilderness - Satellite of Lust

The things we remember and the things we forget and how the luck of the radio dial and the inventions of satellites can knock the dust off the memories of women lost and found, i could have called this post Satellite of Love (i think i just did) except it has fuck all to do with Lou Reed and everything to do with a girl named Meredith Rose Bach, born she said 7 years, 7 months and 7 days exactly from the death of her older sister who had the exact same name, of course this was Wyoming circa the late 80's and the advent of cable television had given us kids access to all kinds of weirdness and since this was Wyoming and there was shit to do the small group of kids who lived here that were enlightened enough to embrace the outside world were a interesting lot... all six or so of them... mostly it was big-hair and mullets and rodeo and pick-up trucks and to this kid from Cleveland it was like Planet Redneck...

As the legend goes i was a 6'4 inch string bean with a great jump shot and a down right naive fearlessness when i took the ball to the hoop, i was Basketball Jones but i was skinny and young and since the Division 1 school in the bible belt didn't have a scholarship for me at the ready they said they'd find me one, they called a cat in the middle of nowhere who took me sight unseen on the recommendation from the big school, i was gonna play and put on weight and transfer in after two years but somewhere along the way that plan went tits up, most likely about the time i stepped off the plane...

I turned 18 two weeks after i landed but had already ingratiated myself to the female co-eds, or handful of them, you see that first week i was so fucking homesick i wanted to walk up to I-90 and hitch a ride back, the first weekend there was a  party in the cafeteria, sponsored by the school of course for the 50 or so of us who actually lived on campus and any other students who wanted to attend, most of us on campus were basketball players (men and women's), volleyball (women) or rodeo (mental cases) along with a dozen or so students who lived in one of the many nowhere towns/crossroads that dotted this state, that first weekend i found a way to get booze and weed and cigarettes and then proceeded to get roaring drunk, i was homesick as fuck, i let the campus lesbian put some eyeliner on me and i walked through the little campus singing Smiths songs, the campus lesbian was also DJ'ing this little shindig and i believe that other than her and i every other person hated the music... i left with a little blond from Billings, Montana... her name was not Meredith Rose Bach...

The dorms were little two floor, six rooms a hall things, basically sheds, and above me lived a sophomore named Leroy who just happened to be friends with Meredith Rose Bach, who just happened to espy me sitting in the tiny television lounge drunk or stoned or both watching Miami Vice re-runs as i was known to do, turned out Meredith had been angling to meet me and had been quizzing Leroy on my tastes and demeanor and as he told me later, i told her you'd love him, he's a fucking weird one, Leroy also had a mullet and always wore a trucker hat, i was still rocking the Barney Sumner aka the floppy white boy fade... one day Leroy invited me up for some beers (things were not very strict on campus) at the behest of Miss Meredith Rose Bach so she could chat me up and as Mozza would say, find out for herself...

She had dark brown eyes and long dishwater blond hair, she was 5'2, thin yet curvy, soon i'd find that her left breast was noticeably larger than the right and an art major, i smiled when i came in and we introduced ourselves and after two hours of intense and lively conversation we adjourned to my room, when she stepped out to pee i asked Leroy if he was cool and he laughed and said we're just friends man, she's been asking about you since the first week of school... she came back in and we went to leave... you two have fun he cackled...

I popped Louder than Bombs into the tape deck and we sat on my bed talking, before side two we were rolling around and slobbering all over each other, she told she knew this would happen, that i was like hurricane that first weekend and that she'd been tracking me ever since, once her and her ex had made the split official she put her plan of tracking me down in motion... she was 20, i was 18, for all my posturing i was still a naive kid, wet behind the ears, Meredith Rose Bach was not... those small town girls can blow you away...

Her father's name was Glendo Jerome and he was mortician, she claimed he used to be connected and moved to the middle of nowhere to disappear, they lived above a funeral home and though i thought the crime story was bullshit it was both creepy and cool that she lived above a funeral home,  her old man was also almost deaf and i think we exchanged a few sentences in the two months i spent with his daughter...

In what i now realize was a pattern in my youth we spent an intense 8 or so weeks together, in that time she made me a few mix tapes, she was into the band Book of Love and for a week or two it became the soundtrack to our sexual escapades, Meredith Rose was teaching me things and i was a willing student even though i wanted to pretend that i knew it all, i didn't, she knew i didn't, she didn't care, i remember her telling me i had an innocence that she enjoyed corrupting, i told her i quite liked being corrupted...

Of course it went bell-shaped when i decided to spend five rather unsatisfying minutes with a metal chick with tinted purple hair, dark purple not punk purple, and if my five minutes were unsatisfying i can only imagine how much hers sucked, why i did it i don't know... but that's a lie, i did it because i could, Leroy got wind of it and this being a small town Metal Chick didn't keep it a secret and soon i was single, Meredith Rose Bach having roundly dumped my ass while also giving me a good chewing out...

And so the year rolled on and we somehow managed to avoid each other, she got back with her ex for a short time and i kept right on wrecking my reputation, word was out that i probably wasn't coming back and someone told me about a party at some ranch, i scored my usual 12 pack of beer, pint of whiskey and sack of weed, the ranch party was shit, a bonfire and a bunch of dudes trying to be cool for the three single females in attendance, by the fire was Leroy and Meredith, he shook his head told her see you later as soon as she saw me, the fucking stars in Wyoming feel like they're right on top of you, it's a gorgeous sight, we smiled, i gave her a hug, we talked and did what is commonly called a baring of the souls, she told me i was a right shit but she couldn't stay mad at me, i told her i was sorry and i was a dumb motherfucker, laughed and told her how the Metal Chick sucked, she laughed and said, all the time i put in on you and you were just getting to be a decent fuck, to this day i can still see her, tight sweater and sparkling eyes spitting out that word fuck, it was beautiful...

Needless to say we talked and drank my booze, smoked a joint, we laughed and smiled and she'd lean against me, at one point i was moving closer hoping to kiss her, she leaned in and then backed away, no she said, as much as i want to no.  A minute later Leroy was walking over looking disgruntled and moaning about how he thought they were gonna hang out and that she spent the last couple hours with me, he asked if she wanted a ride back to town and she said yes, when i asked if i could get a lift he told me there was no room, she told Leroy give her 5 minutes, he stalked off, she turned and smiled, she said you're one helluva mess, you're gonna break a lot of hearts and you need to grow up, she paused, but when you do you're gonna be a great guy, i wish i could see it... she trailed off, then she leaned in and kissed my cheek and walked towards the blaring lights of Leroy's truck...

All this because i heard a Book of Love song on the radio...