Louie

About a dozen years ago the girl and i were standing in some shelter looking at cats, debating actually if we should get another one or not, i am an unabashed cat guy, William S. Burroughs was one too, but we were standing there looking and truth be told we weren't even looking at Louie but at a different cat but for some reason i kept looking over at the cat who would be named Luis Garcia Shinobo Diego Rivera Marquez and every time i did he'd meow and stick his paw out of the cage at me and so i said to the girl what about that one? and so we asked to see him and we sat and played for a bit and when it was all said and done i was smitten with the cat i'd give six names, seven if you count a nickname, Louie as he'd become known...

He was the clumsy and had a penchant for landing on anything but his feet when he'd attempt to jump on or off something and yet i had rarely seen a cat so skilled at getting exactly what he wanted out of the garbage, of course that might mean tipping the wastebasket over and then pulling out everything inside until he found what he was looking for but he'd find it and then swiftly marshal it away to eat his fill, sometimes leaving the remnants for his large hairy people friend to find, he was a lap cat who loved laying around and i'm hoping he enjoyed his time laying around with me, he was a damn good cat, vocal and loving, he'd walk around loudly meowing when he was looking for you, i'd hear him wander from room to room and i'd call his name and he'd keep right on yapping and as soon as he'd see me i'd hear his motor start and he'd purr and jump up on my lap, lick my hand or arm, in a nutshell he was just a laid back cat, in fact i don't think i ever heard him hiss...

But he was old and things were going south and so last night as the girl and i watched him we knew it was time for a second emergency visit in the last three weeks, (not counting a couple of regular ones), his head was cocked from an ear infection and his ear was bleeding as well, he wasn't really eating and he seemed to be losing weight by the hour, after letting our boy Pablo go to long because neither one of us could pull the trigger we had learned our lesson and didn't want it to happen again... and so i took him and told the boyos to say goodbye because there was a good chance Louie might not be coming back and they did and i put him in his carrier and made my way to the vet... i sang to him, the little song i used to sing to him years ago, talked to him about how beautiful the night was, he meowed weakly and looked at me, i knew i was probably talking more for me than for him but it felt like it made him relax, he always hated the carrier and the car and if it was his last ride i wanted it to be a pleasant one, the night was creeping in and as i could see him turn his face to the cool night air as i took him out of the car, i stood for a moment and let him sniff the air...

I could list the myriad of things that were going wrong but i'll just leave it at what amounted to a quickly failing liver, the doctor told me more things but honestly i barely heard him, i knew what was coming and so i told them what i wanted and they told me to call them when i was ready, once again i talked, more for me i'm still guessing and told him i was glad he got my attention that day so long ago and that i loved him, kissed his head a dozen or so times and then he turned and licked my hand twice, i'll just say at that point it took a moment for a very tall and unshaven man to get his shit together, a few minutes later there was an knock and i nodded to the nurse and whispered okay, kissed my boy Louie once more and called it a life well lived...

Luis Garcia Shinobo Diego Rivera Marquez or Louie as he was known, was somewhere between the ages of 13-15 years old, he was a damn fine cat and i'm much better for having known him, like his younger brother Pedro i tend to think i'm gonna see him in all his usual places but when i look he isn't there... i miss him...

Epilogue: If anyone is really taking this hard around here it's little Nick Disaster, he's a bit awed and confused by the whole concept of death and this is the first time it's hit this close to home, sometimes he starts crying and asks if Louie is just asleep somewhere and that maybe they gave him the wrong shot and that he wishes he didn't die, i'm doing my best to help the little dude, talking to him and letting him know it's okay to grieve, to be sad, but i can see his almost six year old head spinning as he tries to comprehend it, i want to tell him that it's hard for the living to explain death for the sheer fact that we're alive and know nothing about it really other than how it effects us but i figure we'll wait for the teenage years for the really deep shit, now i just sit and talk and try to take his mind off it, as he sat in the tub today he looked at me and told me he wanted to get me a cat for my birthday, one that looked a bit like Louie cuz then i'd have a cat again, i smiled and told him that'd be great, tried to hide the mist coming up in his old man's eyes, then he smiled and went back to playing in the tub...