Friday, August 1, 2014

The Old Man Diaries

They called it Boyo Night, and it was, we played games and ate tacos, had a Klondike Bar, it wasn't anything astounding and yet it was one of the most beautiful fucking evenings of my life, there are times when you write things down cuz you want to remember them, no other reason, just so you can look back and smile, they spent the night smiling and laughing and then they dragged themselves towards their rooms, spent from the futbol and the park and the games, at one point i stood and listened to the wind and watched the blue light grow darker, i wondered why i always had problems remembering days like today... and then it struck me, we remember and we forget, if only to be surprised by it's beauty the next time it happens, to keep it sacred, to hold it up and gaze at it in wonder... trying to figure out how the simplest most ordinary of days can have more meaning than years of running the streets and looking for some unknown truth and yet now here the truth sits, clutching his stuffed bird or propped up and reading a book in his bed...

And so i post this clip again, it's the closest i can come sonically to how today felt, if that makes sense... and of course because i have sung both these songs to both the boyos, ND has turned 5 and i know that soon he won't want me to sing to him anymore, especially cuz the old man doesn't always sing the traditional songs and because most likely his singing voice is shit, but it's coming and i know it, i'm lucky, i get to put the boyos to bed every night, i know soon that will end and they won't need the old man to read or sing or just lay there and talk, when i'm brutally honest i know i'll miss it alot more than they'll ever know... all i want in life's a little bit of love to take the pain away...

4 comments:

daisyfae said...

A friend dropped a line on me last weekend, as i prepared to launch my daughter onto a plane so she could go home for at least another year...

"One day your mother puts you down, and never picks you up again. In reality, she probably never realized it".

Those moments... the last time we do.... something. Or feel something.... the trippy part is we never know it when it happens.

You've got an amazing degree of self-awareness, and your ability to appreciate "right now" is enviable. Me? i'm always looking ahead, trying to lay in things to look forward to so my head doesn't crush itself. i need to do more of the "right now" thinking...

Vonnegut. "If this isn't nice, i don't know what is."

maurcheen said...

My youngest daughter asked me to dance at my nephew's wedding last Saturday. It was then I realised I had been asked to dance by a young woman, and not by a child.

twin said...

The V-man turns 14 at the end of this month....I still (he actually asks me) to put him to bed every night. It's our conversation time...

he's almost 6'1" and still growing... :-)

i no longer update the blog, but you can find us on IG: @nmaxwellmathias

Kono said...

Daisy- I'm not smart enough to think to far ahead... and of course Vonnegut was right, i think it was Ferris Bueller who once said, "sometimes you gotta stop and smell the roses..."

Maurcheen- It's like we're watching the whole time yet we blink and we wondered how it happened so fast...

Twin- you know i get a big shit-eatin' grin every time i see a comment from you... Makes me realize how long i've been doing this when you tell me the V-man is gonna be 14 and is 6'1, hope he's still swimming, the I-mac took some swimming class this summer and at the end of it the swim coach for the local club was asking me to sign him up, all i could do was smile...