Eff Nock Nook

I'm not dead kids... just in case anyone was wondering, not that i believe anyone was, it's just i've been busy doing nothing and something and something and nothing and just what that is is nothing really exciting or groundbreaking or adventurous but god damn if ain't the most pleasant string of days i've spent in a long time, i've been been cultivating bad habits and cultivating good habits and the good may outweigh the bad but it's all relative in the greater mechanics of the universe at large, and i got this itch to write down some stories but i ain't in any big rush cuz i'm to busy raking the leaves or scrambling an egg...

You see when the Big World Bank Machine patted me on the back and sent me on my way i never thought it would be like this? i mean hell it took me a bit to adjust but these days i move through my day like a fucking, gentle leopard, i make bacon and eggs and pack lunches and wash clothes and sweep floors and pick up the boyos from this that and the other, i listen to records and cook dinners, black pint at the ready as i figure my way through recipes and the PTA mob and anything else that might get in my way but fuck all this rambling, a few black pints and my smoke in the garage has my head a bit scrambled and so i'll leave it at this:

Yesterday before the snow i was raking leaves when i heard a pounding on the window and looked up to see that mop-topped Nick Disaster grinning from ear to ear and waving at his daddy, i took a few steps towards the window and then i heard it, his little booming voice coming from behind that window, "I LOVE YOU DADDY!", he yelled it a few times and smiled and then trotted off... and then of course there was today when Nick D and i sat at our table in the local supermarket splitting a small pizza and a lemonade, he made me put two straws in so we could share, we sat and talked and i answered all his four year old questions and i couldn't help but notice the smile on both of our faces, when we were finished we walked towards the door and he said, "let's do this again" and i thought yeah, let's do this again real soon...

And then there was tonight, the I-mac likes me to sit in the bathroom while he takes his bath so we can talk and so i sat and he talked cuz if there's one thing that boy likes to do it's talk, it was after his old man  and him got home from hoops practice where his old man is the coach and as we sat there he asked me, what was your favorite day with me? and i looked at those eyes that look exactly like mine and smiled and said, "every day since the day you were born", i know he wanted something specific and so i named a bunch of things we had done from playing footie in the park or swimming in the ocean or reading each night before bed (what started as me reading to him and has become him reading to me), i told him i couldn't pick one cuz every day was my favorite, he smiled with his missing tooth grin and said that he liked those days but that he really liked today, i laughed and said, "me too."

So there you have it, i don't have an excuse, sometimes i just can't be arsed, Ferris Bueller told me sometimes i gotta stop and smell the roses and though some days i think i might lose my mind i'm doing just that... cuz sometimes they smell pretty fucking good...