The Wilderness Years - Cowboy Dan, Part 1

He was like the fucking Yeti or Nessie or maybe more correctly Paul Bunyan, a mythic figure in the tapestry of Podunk, Pa., a mountain man who knew the forests and streams like the natives who lived here hundreds of years before him, he'd bow hunt deer and anything else he could, he'd grow high grade grass on public lands because he knew where the Man didn't look, knew how to disguise and shield and out-think the fuck-o's who made it their job to police the game lands and forests of Podunk, Pa., at one point his Father had been the mayor of this town and his mother the head of the university math dept. and it seemed everyone knew what he did but didn't talk about it, you'd walk by his house as if it was the cave of the Yeti or the loch hat Nessie swam in, carefully, looking out of the corner of your eye to see if you could see this mythical figure and on the rare occasion you'd see this man, barrel chested with long, stringy, shoulder length light brown hair climbing into a beat-up pick up truck or lounging on his front porch... but you didn't say hello, even if you were with someone who knew him, you didn't speak to the man, hell you tried not to look at him unless you were properly introduced, there was a fucking protocol and you followed it, to get into the kingdom was difficult, to get tossed out on your ass was easy...

Back then my name was not Kono, it was a few years before i'd earn that moniker, early on in my time at Podunk U certain students called me Cool Air, almost a patois that incorporated my name, others called me Baked-Man cuz i smoked that much pot, usually all day every day and as i did i watched my grades get better and better, i watched my reading material get deeper and darker and more out there, and by reading material i mean the things i read outside of class, the things i'd read hidden away in a library corner, alone with my books and my thoughts and my paper and pen, i'd scratch out ideas or things i needed to remember after i was done studying, you see though i looked like a fuck up in my flannel shirts and thrift store clothes i was out working and thinking the fraternity/sorority set, they may run off into the world to make money but i was gonna run off into the world to subvert and destroy the system, of course i was young then and sometimes had ideals, back then existence was a beautiful thing, it was hand to mouth and one of the staples of my diet was grass...

Podunk was a small town, hence the options for drugs were not all that plentiful, you either dealt with the frat boys who scored, who were usually unreliable assholes who over-charged and were basically nickel-dimers trying to get a free sack out of the deal or if you were in the know you went to the one professional in town: Cowboy Dan... i ran with a crowd that included hippies and punk rockers and alterna-kids and townies, luckily for me some of these guys knew Cowboy and would score for me when i needed but it was never a simple cut and dry thing with Cowboy Dan, like i said there were rules and you followed them and though i might be sitting in my apartment waiting for the bag to come back thinking it should only take 30 minutes it might take 3 hours instead, and so since i seemed to go through more grass than anybody else it was finally decided that i should meet Cowboy Dan, it was then that i was given the deal, first they had to make sure it was cool and then i had to be superfuckingcool when i got there, be polite, sit and drink a beer, make small talk, watch a little tube, smoke up if offered, don't be an asshole, remember the rules even if you do get all fucked up, don't be an asshole and hope that he's having a good day, see if  he's not you could be cooler than Jesus and it won't matter, he'll associate you with bad vibes, your chances of coming back will be slim to none, oh and by the way him and his old lady are a bit crazy and if her kid is there it's a no go and you'll still have to go through the motions you'll just have to wait it out or come back when the kid's not, got all that? good, now cross your fingers and don't be an asshole...

And so it was on some late summer afternoon that i stood on the wooden porch with two of my friends, heart racing waiting for the door to open... and then it did and i walked into to a shaded room and shook hands with Cowboy Dan, my friends introduced me, the first thing i noticed was his eyes, this look of menace about them, that if you fucked up you'd get a bottle across your nose faster than you could blurt out sorry man, he carried himself with a sense of restrained bad-assery, you knew who was in charge and you let him be in charge and count yourself lucky to be there, and so it was that i sat down and drank the beer i was offered and then drank another as we sat and talked a bit about all sorts of things, Cowboy watching Andy Griffith re-runs, asking if we'd like more beers and the like and i sat nodded and then he pulled out a pipe and packed it up and we all smoked and i remained on my best behavior as he told us that the bowl was packed with his special blend and i've always had this knack of being able to keep my shit together and even when my friends were so high they stopped smoking Cowboy and i finished it off and then he told me to run to the fridge and while i was in the kitchen i could hear some whispering and i came back and handed out the beers and sat back down, it was then that Cowboy Dan looked over at me with those eyes and grinning said, "so i guess you want to score some weed huh?" and i looked back and said sure and then he took our order and he went upstairs and came back down, i had passed the first test and as we got ready to head for the door my friend turned to Cowboy Dan and asked if it was cool if i came back on my own and Cowboy took a look at me, grinned,and said no problem, handed me his phone number and laid out some more rules and off we went...

This was the beginning of a trend that would follow me throughout my whole life, see i've given it alot of thought and i don't know why but it seems that those with a bit of the criminal element have always trusted me, seemed to like my judgement and wits, i have no idea if this is because of my size or the way i carry myself but Cowboy Dan would be the first in a long line of shady characters who would have complete faith in me, what they probably didn't realize is that they were building a better beast, that all the while i was watching what they did and how they did it and noting what was being done right and what was being done wrong, of course at first even i didn't realize what i was doing, it was almost subconcsious but i was doing it, it was like criminal college with the luxury of not studying in jail, it was like a work-study program and just like my courses at Podunk U it would not be long before i would move to the front of the class, of course it didn't hurt that i was always interested in these types of people, interested in the shadier side of things, i was to become the star student and Cowboy Dan realized that and soon we would be good friends... to be cont.