What Else Is New ?

So c'mon now, like hey Kono where the fuck ya been? well kids even El Kono needs a break now and then so i packed my bags and fucked off to Costa Rica for a week or so and let me tell you Costa Rica is a beautiful fucking place, of course i recommend leaving all assholes at home and unfortunately for me i had to bring one with me, but in the coming days i'm sure i'll get to writing about the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful, of course i got in after midnight last night and here i sit at work, went from 88 and sunny to 29 and snowy and you know what? i fucking loved it, i'm a fucking Rust Belt boy, i need my cruel and shitty weather to help remind me of the sunny and pleasant, but let's face it, you can't down black pints and good Irish Whiskey in the heat you know and there are some things in life i refuse to give up dammit...

So a few highlights you ask? well hopefully if my lazy ass can download some pictures and figure shit out on the old fancy computer i'll show you, the boyos had a good time, the I-mac (who at not even 6, has been to Costa Rica, Mexico and the Dom. Republic) picked up some pretty little Costa Rican girl at a steakhouse, see they had this playground and this little girl with braided hair took a shine to him and started following him around and smiling and this fucking kid just works it, lays the blue eyes on her and smiles and says "hola", the kid's the fucking mack, to the point where when we were leaving she ran over and said bye to him all googly eyed, the I-mac looks at me and sighs and says she's pretty dad but i couldn't understand anything she said, of course i didn't want to tell him that would've been perfect but he's young he'll learn, needless to say his father was quite proud of him, he also learned to swim with the help of his old man, seems i'm the only one he trusts and when i finally talked him into it he figured it out and picked it up pretty quick, he aslo got brave enough to dive through the waves at the beach and not worry about the sand or salt, now if i could only get the little shit to not debate me every time i ask him to do something, there is a reason i nicknamed Esquire you know, got his report card the day before we left and had my first parent/teacher conference, it's the same every time, extremely intelligent but very stubborn and headstrong when he doesn't feel like doing something, a bit of a smart ass when he's bored (have no idea where he gets that) and is extremely effective at communicating and rationalizing, i laughed when his teacher told me how he can turn on the charm and get out of trouble only to get right back into the second she turns her back, guess the old man still has a few things to teach him huh?

As for Nick Disaster, well let's just say he's a water dog, i dubbed him Aqua Boy, cuz at not even 3 he loved the ocean, now don't get me wrong he was afraid of it until his daddy picked him up and had a talk, told him i'd wouldn't let anything happen to him and slowly took him out into where the surf was finishing breaking, got tumbled lightly around, got his head in it, laughed as he smiled and said, "it's salty daddy", then he wanted to go out further so i told him to hang on and we walked out a bit more, he held on was we floated over some big waves and every time he'd just laugh and say again again, of course we got caught a bit further in the break for some and he and his daddy got dunked pretty good but each time the kid would pop up and smile and blink the water out, not even use his hands, daddy could only think that Nick D. needs to learn to swim and get on a surfboard, the kid is a bit more fearless than his older brother and he loved being in the water until of course he saw sandcastles being built, what's funny is how similar and different they are, Nick Disaster is much more self contained, can sit and play by himself, likes to look out windows and take it all in where his older brother needs constant stimulation, kid's got a sweet soul though and as i carried his tired little ass through the airport last night i couldn't help but feel good as i heard him breathing on my shoulder, wiped out from his trip, of course he's not yet 3 and has now been to Mexico and Costa Rica, considering his daddy never got his passport stamped until he was 28 he's doing pretty good...

But no trip would be complete without the pre-requisite asshole on board, see the girl's father was along, along with her brother, his wife and 4 yr. old son, for the record i'll state they were great to have along, but Daddy Dearest or Posa which stands for Piece of Shit Asshole (a name i came up with myself) has to pick someone to hassle and fight with every trip, seems this time i drew the short straw but what he didn't realize is i'm not one of his kids and i won't take his shit, he can go fuck himself as far as i'm concerned and if Posa fell over tomorrow the world would be a better place, see Posa was a shit father and i could out the fucker bad, like name and address out but i won't, what pleased me even more was the fact that twice on the trip he had to listen to two different women, one 20 something and one grandma, strangers to boot, comment to me on what a good father i was, not that i think i am, i'm just doing what my old man taught me and if i'm half as good as him i'll be doing alright but let's face it i ain't fucking perfect nor do i claim to be, see Posa treated his kids like shit and then his wife died and he realized he'd be left alone if he didn't somewhat rectify his ways and by that i mean throw money at them but this motherfucking shithead is gonna get paid tribute with his own fucking post, why? cuz the asshole earned it... but fuck him for now i need a nap... damn this was almost a daddy blog post, egads.