In the Future When All's Well

As written by the I-mac, sometime in the distant future...

"The closest i ever saw my father prescribe to a religion was his friday night journey's into the city.  He moved us out to the suburbs to get away from the shit and find better school's but his heart stayed chained to the filthy streets and neon of certain neighborhoods.  On friday's he'd let me lay in his bed until he came home, he'd get my younger brother to sleep and then walk in and change his shirt, kiss me on my forehead and say, "see you when i get home kid."  I'd lay in bed and watch Animal Planet and my mom's taped soap operas until i couldn't keep my eyelids open any longer.  When i got older he told me that sometimes he'd just drive around his old neighborhoods stoned on grass or pills or both, just listening to music and watching the people, watching the action that went down on corners, in alley ways, between cars in parking lots. My old man had this shit-eating grin which let on that he knew more than he was telling.  What i remember most is being 5 or 6 and waking up as he carried me to my room, his long arms holding me and my pillow and my blanket, the faint smell of cigarette smoke on his shirt and the smell of cheap beer on his breath.  He'd lay me down and tuck me in, kiss my head again and creep towards the door, where he'd stop and whisper, "i love you son".  He'd gently shut the door and i'd listen to floor creak under his feet.  I don't think he knew that i heard him but i did.  My father wasn't a saint and he had demons that he kept to himself.  All you really need to know is that he loved his sons fiercely and that's all a son could really ask for."