First off i'd like to wish one Gulfboot Johnson happy birfday, born on St. George's day i let you septics sort that one out to see if you can guess, second i do believe this weekend was all about the crucifying and rising of a giant Bunny in order that i may fucking shake like a junky eating copious amounts of fucking chocolate, see i got a sugar jones something fierce and if you leave out bite size pieces of candy i'll devour the whole fucking bag, so please, if i show up at your house hide the stuff, i'm trying to live to see the boyos grow up...
Speaking of which the I-mac is doing his best to look like a the world's greatest almost 5yr old bar fighter, last week we got to spend a little quality time in the ER with a split eyebrow and now today he does his best Evil Kneivel impersonation and hops on some tiny bicycle and heads down a steep slope at his grand-dads house and wipes out like a fucking champ, now the kid is nothing if not resilient but right now he's got a cut above his left eye, a scrape on his right cheek and chin (covered by a bandage), cuts on both hands and and a nice scrape on his arm, i'd post a picture but i'm afraid CYS would show up and haul the kid off, about the only saving grace was that he managed not to put a hole in the last pair of jeans that he hasn't already put a hole in, man i love that fucking kid, the best part was how i explained to him how he was told not to ride down that slope but he just looked at me all serious and says, "but i didn't wipe out the first time dad", to which i all i could do was laugh...
The best part of my weekend was spent on the side of the highway receiving my very first moving violation, can you believe that? all these years speeding and i finally got my cherry popped by some short fucking state boy in the middle of fucking nowhere, for the record i was a mere 19mph over the speed limit and when State Wanker asked me how fast i was going i just kinda smiled and said "i don't really know officer?", i then played dumb and stated i thought the speed limit was 65 and not 55 were i was at and then i waited for him to give me a lecture cuz i had the two boyos in the back seat, lucky for him he didn't, just handed me my ticket and sent me on my way, didn't even tell me to drive safely the fucking knob, let it be known that i don't hate the fuzz i just like it better when they're not around, in fact i feel sorry for most of them cuz they obviously have self-esteem issues and most likely small johnson's, hence the tough guy act and big firearms, but hey that's just conjecture i'm sure they are all very nice people...
And last as we celebrate another year of the Bunny not seeing his shadow or something like that it dawned on me as i drove back from POM, Pa that the only thing open on Easter sunday were the odd restaurant here and there, movie theaters and porno stores and let it be said that the porno stores were all doing booming business, every one i passed on my shitty, slow (observing the speed limit) drive back to the Burgh had a packed parking lot, which just goes to show that a lot of things were rising on this fine day... and now, Bunny willing, we'll get back to our regularly scheduled program...
Ah... Danger Boy. i had one of those. Could not keep enough bandaids or bluejeans in the house for that kid. Glad he's ok.
Happy Easter break Kono. Hope there are no more citations in your future
Gotta love boys. Used to be we couldn't travel w/out incident. I'd scan the internet to make sure I knew where all the hospitals were before we went anywhere. At least that's slowed. Somewhat.
And because I entirely lack self-control I hate the Easter candy thing. This year I asked the kids to hide their stash where I'd never think to look. They're back at school now, and I am so tempted... ;)
Happy Birthday, to Gulfboot!
And a Happy Easter to you and the family, Kono!
I got my first speeding ticket ever when my daughter was 2 or 3, and totally passed out in the backseat. Tried to give the cop my insurance papers, and he didn't even want to see them. He seemed in a hurry and also like he felt bad for even pulling me over. Dickhead.
See, it's things like that. Pride in your son for being fearless. Things like that make me think I might someday want to be a parent. My kids would be AWESOME.
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