Weekened Update

I support Christian Breitkreutz, let's just get that out of the way and on friday i attended his art opening and i'm now telling all three of you who read this to save up some money and buy his paintings while you can still get 'em cheap, cuz someday this kid is gonna be charging alot more, he's easily my favorite artist here in Pittsburgh and keeps getting better and better. See he once gave me one of his paintings and i'm fully aware that sometime in the future i'll be able to sell it and pay for my kid's college tuition, i'm hoping he gives me more cuz i'm older than him and serve as a somewhat quasi-spiritual guide, always urging him to lead a more monastic and clean lifestyle like myself but you know how the great ones are, they need that release... check out his website i believe there is still a link up here on the lounge...

As for me i got a bit to drunk on friday and that last fucking white russian cost me about 4 grand? how you say? well among other things i'm a degenerate gambler and i love the ponies and this weekend just happened to be the Breeder's Cup, so i lined up the kids and told them which horses to cheer for and even let them place bets cuz nothing says "daddy of the year" like teaching a 4yr old how to handicap, kid's smart though, when i ask who he wants to bet on he says the one that wins, much brighter than his daddy, and friday started off with a bang and El Kono picking winners in 3 of the first 4 races and an exacta to boot, which had the confidence riding high going into saturday. So what happens? i'm hungover and not thinking the clearest and make some shit plays that were easily correctable but the most shit was forgetting to put Blame on the Pick 4 ticket which would have raised the cost of said ticket to $24, see i don't have a huge bankroll to play with, barely any at all really but i had enough to place this bet but i didn't and when Blame nipped Zenyatta by a nose i didn't know whether to shit or chew bubble gum, see i had a 37 to 1 shot followed by an 8 to 1 shot on that ticket and had i remembered to look for horses that had a good record at Churchill i would have had him on the ticket and been 3998 richer this morning, instead at the last minute i put in a decent size win bet on him at 5 to 1 and hit the exacta when he beat the Super Mare, who buy the way i was really hoping would win and not just because then i would have hit the pick 4 only it would have paid about 2g. My handicapping has been solid of late which is good for a guy who doesn't' get to play often and if i don't over-think at times i'd have made 5grand in the last month cuz in the beginning of Oct. i did a similar thing at Belmont Park where had i put a horse in the last race on the Pick 4 it would have been $1300, instead i put another win bet and covered like any desperate two bit horse player and made a little money but that's the way it goes sometimes in this game...

Now that last post illicited an interesting range of responses and though i'll get around to answering each i would like to say i'm retiring... ah fuck i've changed my mind i'm not, i'm only joking and i know that joke isn't funny any more, all to close to home and to near the bone but the point of the Wilderness Years is to get it all out there and i do think that both of my readers wouldn't want me to censor myself and so i'm here to lay it all down warts and all... i'll be the first to admit that i've not always been a sweetheart, you don't do what i did without doing some things you're not particularly proud of and sometimes that carries over into the old everyday life, so there will be more posts when i will come of as a despicable human being, a fucking degenerate asshole, egomaniac, thug etal, you didn't think it would be all sunshine and puppy dogs now did ya? and i'll also say that i know when i've been an evil, manipulating, violent bastard, been mentally cruel beyond belief and i'll say that i've worked hard to become a better person, i mean that could be a point to this meaningless absurd existence and of course it's debatable that i've made any strides in that area, i'm still a misanthrope and a bastard i think i'm just a more tolerant and polite misanthrope and bastard...

And finally there is this, i indulged in the herb cabinet tonight due to an aching back and while walking back from the store in this crisp, cool fall air i looked up and saw two stars, bright stars, most likely planets, posed in the eastern sky, and i walked and wondered why i had not heard about this phenomena because it had to be something important and i kept staring and then i began to wonder if i would wake up in the morning and find massive space ships poised all over the world's major city and be depending on Will Smith for my survival, really i thought about Independence Day and then i felt a small ball of fear deep in my stomach and immediately thought about getting Kid A and B and loading up the car and what clothes i should take and what food i should take and how i should get a huge gas can cuz who knows whats gonna happen and then as i watched the planets moved and came closer and instead of being two spaceships it was actually two helicopters and man was i relieved... for a split second until i realized how fucked up that thought was and how it took all of maybe 30 seconds and how though i never really thought about it i might be afraid of aliens and shit, the space kind not the illegal kind... and that in was kinda my weekend.