Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Cosmic American Weirdness

Ybor City, Sarasota, Tampa, St. Pete, Siesta Key, Longboat Key, to many keys to mention, the Gulf Coast or as i like to call it the west coast of Florida, the place that i refer to as Cosmic American Weirdness ala Gram Parsons and his Cosmic American Music, it is hands down the strangest place in America, both beautiful and violent, it sums us up perfectly, fuck California for strange, it all seems a bit to contrived, if you want to experience flat out weird then it's near the clear blue water and disgusting suburban sprawl, a place filled with senior citizens and young, drug addled maniacs, where streets are lined with strip joints and slots parlours, where the mushrooms are free, the blow is cheap and the people are friendly, (as long as they're not shooting at you) this stretch of land used to consistently rank as one of the most violent stretches around and yet there are no major cities other than Tampa and yet they seem to find bodies everywhere... the chance came up to go see a great band on this fine coast and i had to give it some serious consideration but the temptation is just to great... i might just park myself on a bench and never leave, when you want to get lost in America these days this is the place you shuffle off to, i adore these little coastal towns where 70 yr old ex-coal miners offer to get you high while you sit on a small boat docked off the back of his house, i've hung out with millionaire thoroughbred owners at a Cabana bar and watched in awe as the guy took my advice on horses and laid down $200 dollar 3 horse exacta box bets, for the novice that's $600 a race, for 5 races and didn't hit once, i've sat in a local dive and watched as some 50yr old married guy broke up with his 19yr old off duty bartender mistress, a girl with sparkly eye shadow on, a girl who flipped out and threatened to kill herself, made a huge scene, downed a half dozen shots of Jager in two minutes, stormed out sobbing only to return and beg and plead and then ended up having sex with the guy in her mother's car while most of the bar watched, yep it's a strange place but i love it, i like the tourists in bad clothes and burnt red like lobsters, i like the breeze that picks up at night, but mostly i just like the Cosmic American Weirdness that comes from a place where all the inhabitants have moved there from other parts of the country or world, it's the last great melting pot cuz everyone's a transplant... so i will pass on the Hold Steady at the Skatepark, if i went i'd only end up wandering off towards some hole in the wall bar that needed a cook or a dishwasher, finding a cheap place to crash and tracking down Tee-Are-Ubble... besides i've got novels to write and being locked inside due to cold weather helps this cause, that and i'd miss the imaginary boy way to much, i'm a bit soft in that dept., and tonight i'll roll a cigarette and turn on GP and listen to A Song for You, Sin City and Hickory Wind dreaming of the warm breezes of the Cosmic American Weirdness.


Anonymous said...

the International Submarine Band was on my radio today at work, washing dishes. cosmic american weirdness. maybe.

Anonymous said...

Oh piss off CresceNet.

ItWasInevitable said...

Damn. If that wasn't so beautiful, I'd be mad.

I'll miss you there.

(And possibly, there is still time. I'd keep you on a leash if you'd like.)