What does it mean to be beholden to nothing? the word is freedom... but there are many different types of freedom and while my main source of income was the one that would easily get the most common type of freedom taken away it also provided me with another type of freedom, it gave me the ability to not give a flying fuck about any "job" at this point in my life, there were few gigs out there that would pay what i was earning each week, in fact had i put my college degree to work i still would not have been making the kind of cash i was slinging weed... so once again it was the old yin-yang, the positive and the negative, the risk and the reward... but back at the old warehouse i understood perfectly that i was not in a position like anyone else here... Metal Jerry realized he wasn't in as tough as a spot as some as he had taken to the game like a stripper to a fat line, hell he could have been rookie of the year as he went from a half pound to five or more pounds in no time, he was also smart enough to bank a chunk of money and not go hog wild tossing loot around... as for me i was in that rarified air, free from corporate masters and their demands, free from having to give a shit, if i didn't want to do something i said so, what could they do? nothing that mattered, i didn't care if i was shitcanned, i had successfully taken any and all leverage the bosses possessed...
And then came a cool and sunny Thursday morning, late March (2001), a day that would warm to a pleasant early spring afternoon... the skeleton crew were all punching in and beginning our day, we'd been called up to the new warehouse twice in the first three days and there was much grumbling about the bullshit especially as the loose lips of the chosen ones, see the lumpen-proles already moved to the new joint, began to let slip about the new pay packet they were getting, remember District Dickhead loved this place, we were his all-star team, a bright and shiny star in his kingdom, something he obviously took full credit for when talking to his superiors, as if this fucking clown could pull an order or check in a truck, he spent most of his days ambling about in a ridiculous sweater vest while pretending to give a shit about we lumpen-proles... we were about an hour in to the day when Guy came over the intercom calling myself, Metal Jerry, Bug-eyed Steve to the receiving area, of course we all knew what was coming...
The three of us stood in receiving waiting for Guy as Buzzo laughed and said, "off you go again"... i smiled and said, not today Buzzo... then Guy walked through the sales door and gave us the news, DD wanted us to head up to the new place to help out... Guy could tell we were all pretty much fed up and said he understood, he thought it was bullshit too and then i said, you know what... i'm not going... i could tell by Guy's face this was the last thing he wanted to hear but was actually cool about it... i then said, all those cats up there gotta raise while we got jack shit, as far as i know none of us had agreed to go up there and DD (i used his actual name) had said it was okay if we stayed here and once we got closer to closing down then we could make our decision, it's forty more minutes round trip not to mention the extra gas, no offense but i'm not making enough money to drive that much further three or four times a week... behind Guy i could see Buzzo silently laughing about my not making enough money, it was amazing i kept a straight face, it was an Oscar worthy performance... Guy looked at Metal Jerry and Bug-Eyed Steve, the both nodded and said they weren't going either...
Guy sighed and said he understood while adding he really didn't feel like giving DD the news, he then turned around and walked back toward the sales counter, the three of us stood there commiserating and Metal Jerry looked at me and asked, "the connection is solid right? we should be good?"... i smiled at him and said, fucking-a right my friend, we're good... we stood bullshitting for a few minutes when Guy popped his head back in and told us that DD was raging and had said he would be down to speak with us personally, i actually started laughing, what an honor! i said and went back to checking in merchandise, i then made sure to go and score a small work knife that i'd been eyeing up and run it out to my car, not that i knew what was going to happen but the vibe we got from Guy was it wasn't good, the DD appeared incensed that some lumpen-proles would defy his edicts and we were about to suffer his wrath... fuck him is all i could think, fucking clown in a sweater vest sporting a bad mustache, he could get fucked...
The morning dragged on, i ate lunch, i could tell that Metal Jerry and Bug-Eyed Steve were sweating it, worried about what was to come, each time Guy walked back into the warehouse they'd ask if he'd heard from the DD and he said not since he'd talked to him that morning... it wasn't until after lunch that he walked in, attempting to do his best hard guy impersonation... i've always found it funny in the working world how guys further up the ladder of corporate non-sense somehow think they're more masculine or tough than those down at the bottom, i'd have paid $500 to see DD unload a pallet of metal fittings on a cherry picker twenty feet in the air, those boxes weighed anywhere from 50-75lbs a piece, maybe forty to a skid, sometimes four or five on a truck, fact was he couldn't do it, he'd be lucky to unload five of those boxes as the cherry picker swayed from the weight, i wasn't impressed by his paycheck, it gave him no dominion over me, but it seems that's the culture and i've a history of unsettling bosses by once again having a good vocabulary, it fucks with them, not that i'm some fucking genius cuz i ain't but i understand the system and how to work it...
The big moment finally arrived when the DD stuck his head into the warehouse and barked, "i want to see you three in the break room now!"... now i'm sure this was supposed to have the effect of us shitting our pants, the big boss was angry oh no what should we do... i could tell it worked on Metal Jerry and Bug-Eyed Steve, they looked a bit sheepish as they filed into the break room, i on the other hand entered with the look of complete indifference with a dash of pissed... we all sat down as DD paced the front of the room working himself up to a berating, i watched as MJ and BES shifted nervously in their seats, i sat there wondering if should ask if this was our break cuz it was bullshit if it was... it was the usual power dynamic, DD stood so he could be hovering over us and we were supposed to sit there like small schoolchildren and listen to the headmaster speak.... and so it began...
From the outset he was projecting anger, his tone was shitty and borderline condescending as he stalked the front of the room, Metal Jerry and Bug-Eyed Steve kept glancing at me, it was obvious that i was the ringleader, a fact DD picked up on... that's when the fun really began, for the King of North Oakland as least, i had locked in on DD with the famous thousand yard stare, in fact one would have thought that DD had just beat me for a few pounds of grass and i was listening to his bullshit story, i was glaring at him as if i might get up out of my seat and beat the fucking piss out of him and he realized it... it was comical, it was a happy accident and the glare came more from me not giving a shit and this asshat wasting my time but the fact was it was truly unnerving him, he began to stumble over his words and was having trouble keeping up his hard guy act... what had began as a tirade against our most heinous crime of insubordination, of not dutifully bowing our heads and obeying his command, had softened considerably towards the end as he started his bullshit all-star team schtick, how he wants to keep the team together and blah blah fucking blah... it was then he asked if we had anything to say... of course the other two looked over at me...
Yeah, i said, as a matter of fact we do... i kept the glare intact as i started talking in a firm and matter of fact way about all the shit he had spewed... when we were informed of this merger, i said, we were told we'd be given a choice and the fact is we clearly weren't, we didn't agree to go up to the new place and were told we could stay put for the time being, then each day we come in and are told to drive another twenty minutes up the road where we find out that all the guys up there have gotten raises and other benefits while we got nothing, no mileage or extra money for gas, not even a thank you, i know i've been putting extra gas in for the last few weeks going back and forth and the truth is the extra time and money doesn't square with what i make, there was no incentive for us, it basically seems like we were lied to about the whole thing and treated like second class employees, so yes i do have an issue, and also, i gestured to my two coworkers, we do have a problem with things and i for one will not be going back up to the new place...
I sat back in my chair and kept the glare locked on DD as he stood sheepishly at the front of the break room and looked around, he then looked towards Metal Jerry and Bug-Eyed Steve and asked if they were on the same page as i was, they both quietly mumbled yes and Metal Jerry gave a soft spoken reiteration about what i had stated about the pay and time and what not... DD then sighed and said, well... i didn't want this to happen, i was really hoping to keep the team together... there was a pause and then he said, but i'm going to have to let you guys go, lay you off, you can file for unemployment as you were laid off through no fault of your own, but that's it... sitting there it was all i could do from jumping out of my seat and screaming, fuck yeah!!! but i remained calm and asked should we punch out then? DD said no but we could leave and he'd pay us for the rest of the day (almost two whole hours, how sweet of him) and then the meeting was adjourned...
We left the meeting, Guy and Dwayne both walked over to the three of us and asked what happened, i said he just laid us all off... Dwayne looked like someone had shit in his mouth, he just laid off all of you? he said... yeah i said, effective immediately... that fucking asshole, Dwayne growled, he just laid off our whole crew... the DD had just reduced the current warehouse staff to Dwayne, Guy, Buzzo and two counter guys, meaning from here on out Dwayne and Guy would be doing our jobs and they knew it... Guy shook his head and said he was going to call the our coked up manager to tell him the news, DD had gone all sad face, pretending to fucking care and who knows maybe he did, i didn't, but he beelined for his car and got the fuck outta Dodge... i was wasting no time getting my shit and bolting lest DD change his mind... by this time i couldn't keep the grin off my face... Metal Jerry walked over and asked if i was sure things would be cool, supply wise, and i told him not to worry, we're fucking solid... i walked in and shook hands with the counter guys, told Buzzo to take it easy, told Guy it had been fun and gave a so long wave to Dwayne, then i jumped off the loading dock and headed towards my car...
Walking through the parking lot i looked up at the blue sky, fluffy white clouds randomly tossed about, a nice breeze, it was a gorgeous day... i was most pleased, i didn't know what was going to happen in that meeting when i opened my mouth, i can honestly say i wasn't trying or expecting to get let go but the fact of the matter was this was like a Chrimbo come early, what a gift, six months of unemployment, six fucking months! it meant all i had to do was file the paperwork, pretend to be looking for a job and i'd be slinging full-time, my mornings free to indulge in whatever activity i chose and at this point i knew there was a certain activity i'd be indulging in quite a bit, i could sleep off my hangovers, stay out til whenever, what a brilliant fucking day! i got in my car and smiled as i looked at this industrial wasteland one more time... then i drove home to file the paperwork...
1 comment:
Fantastic! Your release has been granted! Nice one!
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