When Life gets in the Way

 I see it's been over a month since the last post kids, damn how the days run away like soccer moms in minivans... yes i know i've used that line many moons ago but it's one of my favorites... since the last installment of the Wilderness Years, which of course will be returning soon, i've been to the Windward Islands, got stuck on said island (Grenada) when the first hurricane in twenty years blew through, have been dealing with a newly minted adult boyo who at 18 seems to be a bit of a fucking mess and who very soon will be shuffling off to college though the smart money seems to be falling on the fact he may not make it through the first year... or more correctly will be home by Xmas cuz he didn't do his work or go to class... it's been a rocky year for the boyo and i and we're both a work in  progress as i adjust how i deal with him as i try to help him get his shit together... but as a woman i talk to at the pool has said about the kid, "he seems like he's gonna have to learn the hard way"... and she is most likely correct... 

My boy Disaster and i have been travelling around on the AAU hoop circuit... Indianapolis, Atlantic City, the lovely Manheim, Pa... (yes that's sarcasm)... much like watching the I-mac play footie i thoroughly love watching Disaster play hoops... recently in the car out of the blue he said, "i really like our trips", meaning our time on the road at his tournaments when it's just me and him, i tried not to let him see the mist in my eyes cuz i don't think he realizes how much that meant to his old man and believe me kid that feeling is mutual... i also realize that's how it used to be with the I-mac and i until things began to devolve over the last year or two and i can't say it doesn't cross my mind that the same thing could happen with Disaster though i don't think it will, different relationships and different personalities, but i also realize that the teenage boyos are growing up and i gotta let them, as i've said to both of them just as Pops said to me... it's your life and no one can live it but you but remember  you're responsible for the things you do and what happens, good or bad you get to own it and you can't blame other people when you fuck up... i have explained to both of them that i am far from perfect (though i'm sure the I-mac would vouch for that) but that i'm trying and that i'm learning as i go just like them... they send you home from the hospital with a baby and say good luck, there's no handbook just learning on the fly... 

There was a night at the Flaming Lips show with the I-mac where i got to see "the kid" again, though at 18 i let him enjoy the full rock concert experience nudge nudge wink wink, even bought him a giant beer as security wasn't exactly looking to bust people especially at a show where the aroma of Mary Jane was omnipresent... it was a good adventure with his old man and i think it reminded us both of what our relationship used to be and could still be... it helped when good old Wayne talked about these shows being a celebration and how we all need to love one another and told us to hug the people we came with, the kid gave his old man a big hug before everyone began hugging people around them, some old friends even finding me and hugging it out... (watching the kid try to touch one of the giant balloons and the big smile on his face when he did was well worth the price of the ticket...)

There has been the rescue of a new cat, brought over from Kuwait by a woman who does some great fucking work rescuing animals from horrific conditions, Korra is a feisty and sweet and adjusting well while the other cats are slowly getting used to her... there has been various bits of furniture built (fucking Ikea) and other bits disassembled and dragged to the curb, something that pains my hippie sensibilities but to be honest they're so beat up they probably couldn't be saved, a new grill built, on old one put on the curb and grabbed by the scrap guys, my usual role as indentured servant, another anniversary for the BW and i celebrated by my going to my friend's place and her watching telly in her room, good to know some things never change, (such as the critiques on my ability to get things done though i get next to no help from anyone), the old gig job which these days is a bit more hit and miss, in a nutshell... life... 

So while the summer has began to slow and wind towards it's end the hope is that i'll get back to my morning routine here at the keyboard, shouting into the ether of the internet, a vast and empty place much like space... (side note: the trip to Atlantic City landed me in my first state with legal recreational cannabis and though i have a med card i had to go check it out, mainly because they sold weed chocolates which basically combine two of my favorite things, weed and chocolate... one night when Disaster needed some private time to talk to his friends and a certain girl he liked i strolled out to the boardwalk and sat on a bench for a couple hours, of course i had eaten a chocolate square (10mg of THC) to relax and enjoy the sound of the ocean while i watched people stroll by, there was a strong wind and sitting there in my hoodie it took me back to my youth, running the streets of Ocean City and after a bit i walked down towards the beach where i took a video of the ocean at night, the tide coming in and the wind blowing, all so when i lay on that couch in the middle of the night and can't sleep i pull up the video and watch it, to remind myself to enjoy the ride, and because one of my favorite sounds in the universe (besides a cat purring) is where the ocean meets the land...}

So yes life has gotten in the way a bit of the one activity i love most, hell love is probably the wrong word, i need the most, the one pursuit that provides the most meaning to the meaningless, part of it is discipline and carving out the time, remembering that the monied classes can wait for the gig economy serf to shop for them and that the 30 minutes or hour or even ten minutes at the keyboard are the most important part of the day...