The Final Whistle pt. 5

 The I-mac had taken to taping up his wrist before games, we never really knew why and he never stated there was anything wrong but he always popped up on the field with his wrist and thumb taped... on the day of the big game he had went to the trainer to get taped but the custodians had locked all the gates leading to the training room and so he had to hop some fences or take the long way around... and so the I-mac did what any 17yr old would do, he hopped the fences... there were two fences to hop about ten feet apart from each other... he got over the first one fine and for some reason switched his Crocs out of sport mode, a mode i didn't even realize they had but which means the little thing in back which flips over the heal was up instead of down which makes it more like a sandal... so on the second fence as he climbed over, Crocs in non-sport mode, his Croc began to slip and his leg was caught and he was in a weird position and worried about his knee so he somehow yanked his left leg free coming down hard on his right ankle and foot... so hard he said his body wouldn't even let him put his foot down after impact... he went to the trainer, they checked it out and said it felt okay and would probably just be sore tomorrow but everything felt good, the taped it up and off he went to warm-up...

And the kid played a blinder... the most dangerous player on the field, he played more minutes than anyone, 70 of 80, created chances, had the only dangerous shots on goal, was tracking back and winning balls, was physical, played brilliant one touch passes and created a half dozen chances for other players who promptly wasted them... and of course the defense got out of position and got scored on right before half, they were down 1-0... they now had forty minutes and needed two goals to have any hope... they didn't even get one... those playoff hopes were now nonexistent, mathematically there was still a chance but it would take the team above them to lose both games and those games were against the sections worst two teams, those teams had two section wins between them, mainly the one beating the other one twice... so basically, once again, no playoffs... 

In the car the I-mac told us what happened before the game and once home his foot was swollen and painful... the next day before practice he went to the trainer again and the team doctor just happened to be there, he took one look and immediately sent him for x-rays... the x-rays would show a broken ankle meaning the kid his coach thought was soft effectively played his last high school game on a broken ankle and was still his best player by far... the most telling thing though was what the I-mac said to me, he said "it's weird, i feel like i should feel sad but i'm not, i'm more relieved than anything...", it's something that someday i will tell Cageboy and let him know that it's one more huge reason why he should never fucking coach again... that statement spoke volumes... 

The BW had taken the I-mac for the x-rays as i had to take Disaster somewhere... i was back home when i got a text from a friend of mine, his son (who i coached in basketball) is a freshman like Disaster and played on the JV soccer team, he told me that Cageboy had called in the team, mind you with two games left, and announced he'd be stepping down at the end of the season... had there been no games left i'm sure a large number of players would have cheered but they all stood there and listened... honestly though the season was over as Cageboy would cancel most of the practices left while collecting his check and taking almost no interest in what was happening... the smart money was on the fact Cageboy was told he could resign and leave on his own terms or be fired... don't forget this was Cageboy's dream job, he was going to restore glory to the program, he was going to be a hall of famer like his shit mentor, instead in four years he had produced one winning season, one playoff appearance that resulted in a home loss and finished with a career record six games under .500... was that horrible? yes and no... most coaches would be given the benefit of the doubt and be allowed to continue, this is high school soccer not basketball or football and at a public school to boot, some districts are just happy to have someone willing to coach the team, but here in the lily-white, where we compete with all the other affluent bubble children, the community expected better especially given the talent... a couple of good players can make a huge difference in high school soccer, Cagebooy had those, I-mac was one, he had a team full of club players, yet still could not or would not set them up to be successful... any halfwit could have set this team up better than Cageboy... his firing/resignation was well earned... 

The last official bit of business was the team banquet... the I-mac being a senior both the BW and i went even though it wasn't something any of us were looking forward to and of course on the way there the I-mac began acting like a right shit to the point i wanted to drop him off and return home... luckily the players all sat together so the BW and i sat with a couple parents we knew... Cageboy, ever the fucking coward, showed up late after dinner had started... it was obvious he didn't want to have to speak to any of the parents mainly because you can't bully adults when you're a scrawny half-wit shit coach... i can say he most definitely did his best to avoid getting within earshot of me but i had been told before we left to be on my best behavior... it's funny because while i may be a fucking neanderthal i know how to navigate the world, now was not the time or the place no matter how disgusting i found Cageboy and his antics, though i've been told i can make people feel horribly uncomfortable without saying a word and the few times Cageboy made the mistake of glancing my direction he had to clench his sphincter a bit as he was met with an icy glare and quickly found somewhere else to look... 

Once upon the stage, sober, it was just as much a shit show as the drunk Cageboy... i'll quote his own words... a fucking loser, an embarrassment, a joke... and some of my own... a bitter and angry chickenshit who demonstrated even less class, something i didn't even think was possible... it was a veiled airing of grievances, he said nothing about the players but mainly praised all the hard work he had put in, he sounded like a spoiled child who had had his new toy taken away... by the time he was done talking, a speech mind you that was maybe five minutes unlike the hour of drunken rambling the year before, i had to remind myself to stay seated and not greet him as he walked off the stage with and uppercut to his chin... an action i'm sure would have been met with wild applause... he took his seat and at least stayed through the video presentation (excellently done by a player's father) but was sure to jump up and practically run for the door as soon as the presentation ended... Cageboy the Coward had always had good speed i was told... today was no different... 

It was quite ripe that a man who loved the word accountability, when faced with possibly having to take some or face some, was dashing so fast to his car that there was a trail of flames behind him... there's a word i save for special occasions, when it is both earned and called for and this was one of those... Cageboy was a cunt... pure and simple... maybe now the program could actually get moving in the right direction... it would be nice to say the story ended there but disgraced coach Cageboy has never been accused of being particularly bright... like the idiot who sat catatonic only to jump up and vehemently protest some inane call in the center of the pitch, Cageboy ran his mouth to one of his former players... and of course since there has only been maybe one or two that actually like the guy (this one not being one of them) the player promptly let the current players know what he said... 

If there is one thing Cageboy could be commended for it most definitely be his ability to sink ever lower into the realms of shit coaches... while i didn't ask if this conversation took place in a bar (the smart money is it did) Cageboy proceeded to whine about "kids these days", how they were uncoachable, how he had lost the team the last couple of years because of the kids, how they didn't listen, how they were soft and lacked the requisite toughness that a career benchwarmer apparently displayed when he had played... you fucking kidding me bruh? Mr. Accountability once again was on his soapbox preaching about how it wasn't his fault... it was everyone else but not him... Cageboy can go fuck himself in the ass with an unlubed giant dildo... it's astonishing, once again i thought my opinion could sink no lower but kuddos the the Cageboy, it did... i've coached the same kids in this community, usually in hoops, and yes you get the problem kid here and there but if one actually has a spine and some principles shit gets straightened out... when this shit happened i used to explain to the parents that one, i'm not a babysitter for a few hours a week, and two what i ask is commitment and respect to teammates, coaches and what we are trying to do... if that's a problem then feel free to contact the home office and bitch but also feel free to remove your kid from my team... since i've coached i've had nothing but overwhelming support and positive feedback from parents, their kid learns and gets better, yes i can be a bit animated but i know how to communicate and get things accomplished... i take full responsibility for how my team plays, give them players credit for the wins, i take the blame for the losses, i've had one or two kids pack it in but a couple dozen who have told me they loved playing for me and it was their favorite seasons when i was their coach... the exact opposite of Cageboy... it's the most gratifying part of the gig... 

As the banquet ended and we began to file out the exit, an exit which was easy to find due to the still smoldering trail that Cageboy had left as he dashed towards his FJ Cruiser, i ran into the JV coach... as previously mentioned he's an excellent coach, a guy with a PHD in education and a masters degree in nutrition, a guy who should have been hired four years ago if not for the Walrus putting his boy in place and promptly hitting the throttle and steering for the iceberg... he said it was looking good for him to get the job, i said that would be great as i felt he deserved it, that he was an excellent coach who knew the game, knew how to set up his team and get the best from his players... then i added, you should have been hired four years ago, he smiled a bit, i then said, this last guy was abysmal, i loathe to call him a coach because as someone who coaches he is everything i abhor but at least if they hire you the program could get back on track... i told him i would be writing the AD and recommending he get the job, he thanked me and said he appreciated the support... sadly, i said, it's too late for these seniors who had to suffer through the last four years but i'm happy for the kids coming up... we shook hands and then the I-mac, BW and i walked to the car... (to be cont.)