Thursday, May 16, 2019

One spin around the Sun

One year ago today i lost the best friend i've ever had... and that's okay, it's how shit works. It's what he told me before he died, just like he told me not to worry about him and to take care of his grandsons and look out of for the ones i love, just like he did. Because i'm a stoner i laugh when i think about how much influence he's had on me since he stepped into the great void, like Obi-Wan Kenobi he may be a more powerful influence now than when he was alive and he was a pretty big influence then too. Funny how that shit works. Needless to say while i feel a twinge of sadness today i also feel an unbridled joy for having had the opportunity to know the man. He would not want me to sit around all maudlin, especially with the sun shining and the birds singing and so this morning i did what i always do, what he told me to do, and got on with it. I made the boyos breakfast and got them off to school, i swam 1-1/4 miles, i mowed the lawn and attempted to fix the fucking weed whacker which is a never-ending pain in the ass worthy of it's own post. I did laundry and made dinner and took Nick Disaster to his soccer practice. I came home and drank a Guinness and sat in the backyard, i listened to the birds and the wind and the silence and all day thoughts of my father would drift in and out like the tide. I bought the boyos each a donut to honor the dude cuz the guy loved donuts. The boyos knew what day it was, the Breadwinner has said nothing and that's probably for the best. The boyos have both talked to me about him today, each on their own and each in their own way. One spin around the sun, it's felt like an eternity and it's felt like i blinked and it's been both. I miss the guy and that's okay too... and now i'll do the various things i need to and get the boyos settled in for the night, then much like my father did when i was young i'll stretch out with a book until sleep comes calling.


looby said...

Manual labour can help a lot with all types of sorrow. Best wishes kono.

daisyfae said...

funny you should mention the "obi wan" effect.... after Dad died, i continued to hear his voice in my head. Didn't have to even ask "what would Dad think about this?", it just rolled in... over a decade after he split, i still do it.