Wednesday, January 16, 2013
It all started so innocently you know, it seems it's always like that, i mean do you remember the story about the Angel Dust, how i came home one morning from scamming the register at the 7-11 and my friends were all standing around wasted and then began highly recommending i try it and of course i did and took to it like fish to fucking water, of course that was damn near a lifetime ago and this little incident was only six years ago today and if one really wants to point the finger at someone we can all stand back and shout "Blame Gulfboot, it's his fucking fault", and who's Gulfboot? well that would be one Gulfboot Johnson, my best friend and middle brother from a different mother and really at this point one might be asking themselves what the fuck is he on about this time?
Well kids, check the archives, six years ago today i signed on and wrote one sentence, a post called A Declaration of Impotence followed shortly thereafter by one called Last Night i Dreamt that Somebody Loved Me, which of course was all about a wet dream i had had and the reason we can blame Gulfboot for this fucking mess is that it was Mr. Johnson who set this blog up and handed me the keys and said have at it, for better or worse, most likely worse, it was Gulfboot who made me re-think how i wrote and thought and prattled on about nothing and so six years ago i set out to unlearn all i knew about this writing thing, said to meself - fuck rules and grammar and punctuation and polite language and after 2,000 some odd days here we are, of course the root of this evil came about becasue i had been writing Gulfboot letters about my past, i think these days they call them e-mails but as you know i'm an old-fashioned sort, it was then that Gulfboot asked why i didn't write my stories and essays and pop quizzes like i wrote my e-mails to him and i sat there all dumbfounded and replied i don't fucking know?
And so a few days later i get a call and Mr. Johnson had set up this here little lounge, hell i think he even coined the name, took it from the fact that at the time i had a penchant for calling people asshats and when combined with my love of the pub there it was, and now here we is, or me to be more specific, six years later and though i may have slowed a little i don't think i'll throw in the towel anytime soon, i still got a whole bunch of fucked up stories to tell and hell when i started the statute of limitations wasn't up on half the shit i did but now i'm in the free and clear haha, so how bout that, of course i'm still a lazy git and i'm prone to bouts of drinking and drugging which tend to seriously slow any progress on any type of real work but hell i've never been one for real work anyway, real work does not tend to solve the problems of the world it tends to make more, Abe Lincoln fucking knew it and so do i, so between fucking about and listening to records and reading to many books and pretending to write my memoirs, a novel, a public bathroom sex guide and manual, some religious texts and a comic strip i'll keep on entertaining meself with this little endeavor as well, continue my quest to be the most cunning linguist i can be...
So for those of you who still stop by i thank you, i have no idea why you do and i've always been one to shout into the void for no other reason than to do it, probably has something to do with the heroic amounts of acid i used to take and how i used to have hours of conversation with me and my imaginary friends, seems i'm good at entertaining myself that way but i do thank you, there have been peaks and valleys and what not but as i've stated before i don't give a shit about ads or money or traffic cuz i just do this cuz like most addicts i have a compulsive personality or something, the ritual de lo habitual, the telly is mind numbing and sometimes i'm to high to read so instead i sit here and fire away, who knows someday i might even meet one of you people in the flesh and then i'd really be fucking weirded out, nah just kidding, i'm really the most social misanthrope you'd ever want to have a couple of black pints with, a line in the toilet with and a joint on the ride home with and pop a couple of happy pills to boot, though for the record i gave up the Charles years ago, i want to fucking live now dammit... and for the few of you who have been stopping by this place for a while now, thanks, and i fucking mean that, you must be a bunch of degenerate perverts or something but it's good to know that i'm not the only one now innit? cheers.