Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Modern Man


Last night was a wash as the Hold Steady thoroughly failed to impress, of course i didn't get onstage and play guitar and sing this time so that might have had something to do with it but that is a post for another time, see today i am off work with the I-mac who is sick and behind me on the couch watching some live action Scooby-Doo movie while i putz around my house doing as little as possible, that was until i saw a blinking light in my kitchen, a blinking light on my coffee-maker that's telling me it's time to clean it, clean it? what the fuck does it mean by that the smarmy fucking machine, i've never cleaned a coffee-maker in my life, much like i only clean the bong when it's ridiculously gunked up but you see the coffee-maker is not, it worked fine this morning and the coffee was good and strong just the way i like it and then this flashing light which is causing me no small amount of consternation, i mean this is the fucking 21st century is it not? don't these little machines clean themselves? i don't even know where to begin as far as cleaning this thing, i'm not about to pour soap or some such shit through it thus necessitating a trip to the store during the most horrible of shopping seasons to track down a new coffee maker, see i'm a modern man and modern man relies on machines and technology to fix things am i wrong? shouldn't my time be spent in pursuit of the almighty dollar and not worrying about the state of my java? but this flashing red light is driving me mad and i've unplugged it then plugged it back in thinking that would fix it and still it blinks, i've looked inside it like a bewildered monkey in a spaceship and like that bewildered monkey i've done nothing but scratch myself and stare out the window into my backyard, so please, dear universe, explain to me what i should do, i feel as helpless and hopeless as Morrissey in a butcher shop, so help me Ob-Wan Kenobi, you are my only hope.

7 comments:

DiaryofWhy said...

Oh my god. Men.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

You take a little ten penny nail and you drive it through the light.

That light, by the way, indicates that the coffee maker is sufficiently broken in and will now render a decent cup of coffee. If you clean it, you'll have to start all over again.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

P.S. I'm posting this from Bagley Road, about a mile or two from the lovely Suburban Inn.

sybil law said...

Google it, man!!

Oh - the best thing about winter last year was packing snow in the bong. Delicious!

daisyfae said...

if it's smart enough to know it's dirty, then it's smart enough to wipe its own ass.

nursemyra said...

Yeah daisyfae... that's my kind of cleaning advice too

Kono said...

DofW- thank you.

UB- that's kind of what i was thinking too.

Sybil- i google nothing but porn stars that happen to be dancing in the burgh that week.

Daisy- i was thinking the same thing but then my kid's pretty bright and he can't wipe his own ass yet.

Nurse- See above.