Monday, June 14, 2010

World Cup Diary - When We Playing Sun City?


I remember this tune from back in the day, back when South Africa still used some fancy Afrikaner word for segregation, back when Mel Gibson and Danny Glover were running a certain movie franchise into the ground and since it was the halcyon days here in Merka we didn't even have a real foe to rail against, no Russians or Arabs or Germans, so we settled on South African diamond cartels or some such shit, of course before all that guys like Little Steven and a bunch of other people i can't remember decided not to play Sun City, not that Little Steve actually got an invite or anything but this was pre- saving the starving, in fact it may have been this song that gave the Great White Hope Michael Jackson his inspiration to feed the fucking world or maybe it was the shit lead singer of the Boomtown Rats, i don't know and i don't really care, what i do know is a lot of white guys and black guys who were really pretty white liked to sing songs and raise money and what exactly does this have to do with the World Cup? well nothing really...
See i was going to entitle this post Howler after Ginsberg's poem Howl and dedicate it to a certain Robert Green who now will never be knighted even if he cures cancer and absolves all of Africa's debt, it was gonna go something like...

i saw the best minds of my generation
naked and drunk and hurling cod in the streets
all because my Mickey Mouse gloves
became all thumbs...

but i'm lazy and really Robert, you're off the hook, it's obviously the fucking ball as a certain Algerian and Paraguayan keeper can tell you, any taker of free kicks will tell you the same as well, of course i have trouble fathoming how a bunch of professionals can bitch about a ball that's the same size and weight as the ones they play with all year but hey... it's the fucking ball man, it sails, it dips, it dances, it's got a mind of it's own and sings Maneater by Hall and Oates but believe me it's the fucking ball...

of course i've now managed to watch all or part of almost every game that's been on telly which is all of them and though it's fun to watch Ze Germans run around all robotic and kicking ass and it's fun to watch the Black Stars struggle to win for a continent and it's fun to watch the Kurious Oranj play almost total football, hell it's fun to see all the guys in the stands like Zizou and Platini and Cruyff and that chain smoking German manager, nothing was as fun as saturday as the U-Azz played Engerland to a draw thus ensuring that we'd both be sweating after said Algerian keeper muffed a shot in the 79th minute and gifting a vital 3pts. to the smallest nation in the tourney aka Slovenia...

I won't go through the play by play of the U-azz game but i will say that i mowed the lawn that day, drank some Gatorade, smoked that strange stuff in the medicine cabinet, ate a happy pill, forgot to eat and set sail to the pub to watch the game where some 10 beers later i thought it was a good idea to start slamming Lemon Drops because well... fuck it we drew Engerland which was a pretty good result and i'm a fucking professional and all, professional footie fan that is and with my voice half gone and some cigarettes to be smoked i thought what better way to end the day than in High Isolation (cue Howe Gelb) and get really fucking rocked, in fact it there was some fancy gold trophy that looked like a veiny world and all i'd of been toting that fucker down the street and singing with a cracked voice that i was the champion, see and this was only the first game...

which of course brings me to the next five days and sweating the fact that we need to beat Slovenia or at least draw which would mean no one would be through and the Engrish could do the dirty work to the Slo-Veny's in the last day of the group while we coast to victory against Algeria or quite possibly shit the bed thus paving the way for the smallest country to advance, needless to say i'll be dwelling on this till friday when i call off work again and head back to the pub to watch match 2 of group C and hope not to proclaim that fuck they've sunk my battleship, i'm thinking i might be glad this shit only happens once every four years...

4 comments:

daisyfae said...

in general, i don't have the patience to watch any sporting events. but you make this sound fun... maybe it's the 'mood altering enhancements'.

maybe i should get really fucked up some time and watch The Master's Tournement or something...

Gulfboot Johnson said...

I had that Artists United Against Apartheid LP. There was some cracking tracks on it. Not least Bongo and Keef doing 'Silver and Gold' and Gil Scot-Heron with a ton of old school rappers doing 'Let Me See Your ID'. Miles Davis was even on it.

Kono said...

Daisy- it' the only sport i can watch other than the ponies, no commercials.

Gulfboot- i'll refer you to that emai i sent and something about Molly Ringwald.

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