This post brought to you in corroboration with our good friends at Toxic Towers... I've often dreamt of jumping through time and space with a bunch of midgets and dwarfs, usually back in time cuz i don't care what Joe Strummer says the future is not unwritten it's most likely a fucking mess, i dream of shagging women and finding the portal before the sun comes up over the castle or the teepee, i dream of finding portals in pastry shops and dropping a few coins and making off with the donuts and then leaving those same donuts in say the middle ages for the monks to dwell on, Terry Gilliam is a genius for that movie alone, the premise of which every young boy dreams and every grown man yearns and in my own special way i've devised my own little bit of time banditry...
Gulfboot, like me, is a crusader. I may rail against the horrible systems of academia and Gulfboot against trinket for chores but mostly what we both rail against is the Modern World, i think Jonathon Richman told me everything i need to know about that modern world and that is that quite possibly the old world is better or maybe that is just self-flagellating mythology, basically i like the present best cuz it allows me to both remember the beautiful things of the past while dwelling on the wondrous things of the future, so i can dream at once about past and future pastries and fucking-a if that isn't a great thing then what is...
The problem is that the Modern World and America's global branding off it is Gulfboot's brilliant analogy of trinkets for chores to a tee, so we spend all our time accumulating as much shit as possible in order to do i don't know what with it, i myself like to accumulate books and music and i somehow placate myself with the fact that i can enjoy these things over and over, of course i could write my own books and make my own music and i often do it's just i see laziness as a virtue, not sloth mind you but laziness, the ability to do nothing and not be bored or worried that i should be doing something else and of course i wasn't born this way it's taken a lot of ahem hard work to achieve such status, like Rousseau i consider myself L'enfant terrible, though not so brilliant and not so bratty, more stoned and content with rustling leaves and the sound of traffic...
the real culprit of modern life and the wasting of time is work, of course i know many people out there would turn up their nose and call me a selfish prick but so be it, i do believe that some people get into medicine or law or the culinary arts or teaching for the sheer love of the job but i'd be willing to put a large wager on the fact that most people choose a career based on the amount of dosh they get to take home and what they can buy with said dosh cuz hey man girls like status you know, the driving force cooler trinkets for more chores but enough of me on ye soapbox it's time for the time banditry...
Someone could spend a good 7 plus years being a criminal, the difference between criminals and convicts being that criminals walk when the time is right and convicts are unlucky, greedy, stupid etal, once done with said life if one is smart they stash away a little money and hope to avoid strippers and cocaine, the key word being hope cuz see above paragraph about girls liking status, yet good criminals work fucking hard, i took a job at the Big World Bank Machine as the post modern light bulb changer and have since perfected the art of time banditry, my goal each day upon arriving is to work no more than 3 hours out of the allotted time spent toiling on the job, i mean yes they pay me for more but i've always been one to buck the system and once again it takes a lot of work to not work hard and take the job home and sweat and grind and worry so that some other slob can lap up the accolades and drive the knife deep into your back when the time is right, i just don't fucking play the game...
So i steal time back, my favorite past times at work being reading literature, sleeping, wanking, dicking around on the internet, walking through the city and looking at the sights and smelling the smells and hearing the sounds, i attempt to do all those things each day on the clock in order to claim a bit of my own time back from the lords of commerce cuz really, check the want ads, when your services are no longer needed you're fucked so why let the scumbags dictate all the rules of the game, sometimes we need to steal the crumbs and the keys in order to not go insane or worse yet become a mindless drone in a meaningless existence...
i'd like to say that i've never wasted any time but the fact i hold a job renders that a useless argument, i am currently working a on brilliant painting at work where i wank in a private bathroom stall with some kind of strange wall covering and after wiping off the residue it leaves something akin to a Jackson Pollock, i've even thought of bringing markers to liven up the scene a bit and when i'm feeling particularly artistic i squeeze the base a bit for some added oomph, yet other than work i attempt to savor every second being it my favorite past time of sleep or laying in bed and listening to traffic, breaking waves, the shouts of children from the park, walking and admiring the architecture of the burgh cuz being it the burgh or Paris the cathedrals all look beautiful from the slums, i take in the aroma of pizza shops and bakeries and watch all the people rushing and basically it all comes down to the fact that you need to enjoy this shit people and quit worrying about time cuz it's gonna keep on slipping and on the day the final alarm clock rings i wanna make sure i didn't waste a second, that i lived, loved, fucked, read, drank, smoked, played as much as i could so that even though i may have come into this joint screaming i'm gonna go out smiling. now isn't that a fucking mess.
Gulfboot, like me, is a crusader. I may rail against the horrible systems of academia and Gulfboot against trinket for chores but mostly what we both rail against is the Modern World, i think Jonathon Richman told me everything i need to know about that modern world and that is that quite possibly the old world is better or maybe that is just self-flagellating mythology, basically i like the present best cuz it allows me to both remember the beautiful things of the past while dwelling on the wondrous things of the future, so i can dream at once about past and future pastries and fucking-a if that isn't a great thing then what is...
The problem is that the Modern World and America's global branding off it is Gulfboot's brilliant analogy of trinkets for chores to a tee, so we spend all our time accumulating as much shit as possible in order to do i don't know what with it, i myself like to accumulate books and music and i somehow placate myself with the fact that i can enjoy these things over and over, of course i could write my own books and make my own music and i often do it's just i see laziness as a virtue, not sloth mind you but laziness, the ability to do nothing and not be bored or worried that i should be doing something else and of course i wasn't born this way it's taken a lot of ahem hard work to achieve such status, like Rousseau i consider myself L'enfant terrible, though not so brilliant and not so bratty, more stoned and content with rustling leaves and the sound of traffic...
the real culprit of modern life and the wasting of time is work, of course i know many people out there would turn up their nose and call me a selfish prick but so be it, i do believe that some people get into medicine or law or the culinary arts or teaching for the sheer love of the job but i'd be willing to put a large wager on the fact that most people choose a career based on the amount of dosh they get to take home and what they can buy with said dosh cuz hey man girls like status you know, the driving force cooler trinkets for more chores but enough of me on ye soapbox it's time for the time banditry...
Someone could spend a good 7 plus years being a criminal, the difference between criminals and convicts being that criminals walk when the time is right and convicts are unlucky, greedy, stupid etal, once done with said life if one is smart they stash away a little money and hope to avoid strippers and cocaine, the key word being hope cuz see above paragraph about girls liking status, yet good criminals work fucking hard, i took a job at the Big World Bank Machine as the post modern light bulb changer and have since perfected the art of time banditry, my goal each day upon arriving is to work no more than 3 hours out of the allotted time spent toiling on the job, i mean yes they pay me for more but i've always been one to buck the system and once again it takes a lot of work to not work hard and take the job home and sweat and grind and worry so that some other slob can lap up the accolades and drive the knife deep into your back when the time is right, i just don't fucking play the game...
So i steal time back, my favorite past times at work being reading literature, sleeping, wanking, dicking around on the internet, walking through the city and looking at the sights and smelling the smells and hearing the sounds, i attempt to do all those things each day on the clock in order to claim a bit of my own time back from the lords of commerce cuz really, check the want ads, when your services are no longer needed you're fucked so why let the scumbags dictate all the rules of the game, sometimes we need to steal the crumbs and the keys in order to not go insane or worse yet become a mindless drone in a meaningless existence...
i'd like to say that i've never wasted any time but the fact i hold a job renders that a useless argument, i am currently working a on brilliant painting at work where i wank in a private bathroom stall with some kind of strange wall covering and after wiping off the residue it leaves something akin to a Jackson Pollock, i've even thought of bringing markers to liven up the scene a bit and when i'm feeling particularly artistic i squeeze the base a bit for some added oomph, yet other than work i attempt to savor every second being it my favorite past time of sleep or laying in bed and listening to traffic, breaking waves, the shouts of children from the park, walking and admiring the architecture of the burgh cuz being it the burgh or Paris the cathedrals all look beautiful from the slums, i take in the aroma of pizza shops and bakeries and watch all the people rushing and basically it all comes down to the fact that you need to enjoy this shit people and quit worrying about time cuz it's gonna keep on slipping and on the day the final alarm clock rings i wanna make sure i didn't waste a second, that i lived, loved, fucked, read, drank, smoked, played as much as i could so that even though i may have come into this joint screaming i'm gonna go out smiling. now isn't that a fucking mess.
1 comment:
Hey, if you can get away with that, more power to ya.
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