Monday, December 29, 2008

Sisyphus ain't no Myth

Pictured is the muppet who's wasted the last four years proving to all involved that though he may be a nice guy he's a complete imbecile when it comes to being a head coach, being a Browns fan is fucking torture, unless of course you came of age from 1940-1965 when they where actually pretty good, the last time they won the NFL Championship was 1964, six years before i was born, Jim Brown was the star and the next year he retired setting off something that is damn near akin to the curse of the Bambino, then scum sucking pig fucker Art Modell moved the team to Baltimore after 1995 due to the fact he wasn't making enough money owning an NFL team, they became the Baltimore Ravens and were basically a bunch of convicts led by double murderer Ray Lewis, they then won the Super Bowl, which to all the fucking Yinzer's out there is a really the NFL Championship, the Super Bowl being a marketing term to sell you chips and athletic shoes and luxury cars, now what's really amazing is that the bumbling idiot Modell still managed to lose money and eventually the team due to his utter lack of competence in financial matters, yet the silver lining is Browns fans would rather lose with class than win with Ray Lewis...
Needless to say this does not make life any easier as i approach my fourth decade and would just once like to see my team hoist that dumb silver trophy so that i could laugh and cry and drink myself silly and someday get to go to a parade in downtown Cleveland, a city that is utterly starved for a championship of any sort, the baseball Indians having last won in 1948 and the basketball Cavaliers, well never, (though Lebron James gives us hope on a nightly basis) and after much talk show bluster about the Browns being the "sexy" pick to win the Super Bowl, well in a nutshell they sucked ass, setting a new record in offensive futility going a whopping six games without a touchdown and being shut out in back to back games for the first time in team history, hence we are into another rebuilding project after the rebuilding project after of course a rebuilding project, hence Sisyphus ain't no myth if you love the team in brown and orange...

The one bright spot is that the owners do want to win and if you look to that other team they own across the pond, Aston Villa Football Club, which is challenging for champions league football at the expense of the Gooners most likely, led by a brilliant manager- Martin O'Neill and stocked with top flight young talent, Gareth Barry, Gabriel Abonglohor, Ashley Young etal, you know they've a commitment to success, now here's hoping they pull the right strings and make the right hires after sacking both General Manager and Head Coach in the span of 24 hours, cuz as usual there is always next season or the one after that or the one after that, but there is only one Cleveland Browns and any fucking idiot can support the Yankees or Manchester United (sorry Spanish and Paddy) or the New England Patriots or the Pittsburgh Steelers or where a Brasil kit, it takes a truly dedicated masochist to back and love a team like the Browns and i like the fucking pain and suffering cuz someday, someday the champagne is gonna taste that much sweeter...

8 comments:

spanish tony said...

No apologies needed my friend. My team hasn't always been a success, granted, it is a fuckin' phenomenal success now but my first experiences where us languishing down the wrong end of the table and losing to Sheff Wednesday, so have faith my friend and the right coach could change it all... Sir Alex is looking to move on any season now!

kid said...

that wasn't a game. i'm with ya. i miss the old rivalry atmosphere i remember in the 90s when Cleveland could and did kick steel face. and we'll see it again someday. until then i expect the Brownies to get a growing fanbase based on that curious trend of the anti-hero. it'll give the ironic shitheels something to hunt for at Goodwill at least.(much like we see here with the Pirates.) i will concede that yeah, any imbecile can slur 'here we go steelers' through their homunculus mouth but it takes a true asshole to cheer that parody of a professional team from NE. Happy New Year!

Michael said...

Fuck the Browns.
Maybe they'll leave Cleveland again.
Forever.

mr

Kono said...

better yet maybe the new Stiller owners will move the team to L.A. giving thousands throughout the region a chance to use one of the many bridges in the area to practice their swan dives.

Matthew said...

Quit your belly aching. I'm a Lions fan. They haven't won since '57 and have one playoff victory in the last 52 years. And the icing on the cake? 0-16.

Kono said...

Yeah Matt i was gonna call you to see if we could arrange the Suck-Ass bowl between Cleveland and Detroit, i think watching the Lawrenceville Migdet League would be more entertaining.

nursemyra said...

hey kono - it's a New Year... time for a New Post xx

Michael said...

I know what the new Stillers owner could do!
He could move the the team to Baltimore and then they could win the Super Bowl in a couple years...
Oh wait, someone already did that.