Monday, December 1, 2008

The Gospels of Kono

It was hot and humid and the year that Pontius the iguana had passed, the Kono had travelled the long and winding road to the sea, a place of video game arcades and cheap t-shirts, a place where surfer boys would braid one's hair into a fake dreadlock and charge by the inch, it was like any shit beach on the eastern seaboard of the USA but he came to make fries and ingest drugs and drink beer so cold that a small rim of ice would form around the top and it was here that he performed a miracle, see one day as the hippies all gathered round the fry hut smelling of patchouli and sweat and asscrack, as the hippies all gathered and said things like "hey man help a brother out brother" that the Kono in his infinite wisdom said "i don't have a brother only an older sister" and as the hippies stood there bewildered by his koans they were speechless and did not know why the Kono smiled so benevolently and it was then that he produced a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter and from somewhere he procured some day old bananas and against his better judgement he smoked out the hippies and then fed them with peanut butter and banana sandwiches... and they smiled and said thank you but before they could leave the Kono took them out to the end of the pier and made them admire the mighty ocean and said "someday brothers the weed will not be free, nor the bananas nor bread nor peanuty goodness and though you reject society and all it's trappings you have already bought your uniform, it is the uniform of the hippy, it has been bought and sold to you by the men who count silver and you don't even know it and someday brothers, someday you're gonna have to get a fucking job or break into that trust fund cuz i might need some smoke or a sandwich and for the record motherfuckers i'm charging interest." and then the Kono donned his sweaty blue work shirt and went back to the fry hut to cook the potato's for the proletariat masses of sunburned H'america. amen.

4 comments:

Kevin Sousa said...

oh, that was why you were late and i missed low tide. and you stole my peanut butter for that fine piece of hippy ass.....prick.

nursemyra said...

hahaha.... this reminds me of a card I once bought. it had a picture of Jesus passing around a basket of loaves and fishes and one of the disciples was saying "No, that's not mine. I ordered the parmesan encrusted salmon with bernaise sauce..."

spanish tony said...

Eh?

Gulfboot Johnson said...

You're my messiah!