Elvis was a hero to most but he never meant shit to me

Let's all BBQ like the Imperialistic, Capitalists twats that we are, lets blow our fingers off lighting mini-bombs most unlike the real ones and most of all lets remember that we kick ass cuz uh well cuz well i guess we do and that's all i have to say about that.

On these lovely holidays when you have no relatives near, your friends all hate you, the bars are mostly closed, the hedges look a bit like redwoods, it's good to have some quality public radio (about as close to the BBC as we get here, ain't that ironic today) it's good to listen to live Otis Redding "I Can't Turn You Loose" and dance around with the imaginary boy, it's quite nice to nap and and eat pototo chips and smoke a cigarette in the overcast afternoon, it's healthy to avoid crowds of yinzers all waiting for the sky to light up like a good night in Baghdad, listen to them ooh and aah and sing classic rock songs in a drunken patriotic ferver, i'm sure Scooter will enjoy the show in his new found freedom, Dick will enjoy it from the Death Star bunker hidden somewhere deep in the earth, i'll watch soccer games from Venezuela and grin at the Fat Diego waving the Argentine flag, i'll breath in the thick air of my greehouse summer, my lungs clogged with the beautiful soot of BIG ENERGY, my arteries clogged with the wonderful plague of fast food, i'll raise my sparkler and my PBR and wonder... what the fuck am i still doing here?