Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Random Notes from a Stinking Basement

The Gods do not like me today, they sent the thunderstorm that annually causes a back up somewhere in my sewer line and soon i am standing in what smells like a truck stop porta-potty, ah the wonders of the humanfuckingbody, the wonders of the public works dept., fucking hell it's horrible a bit like hell might be like, even the pills aren't doing the trick as i bleach and mop and bleach and mop and sing "There's a Light that Never Goes Out" and other assorted songs of woe and if i had any ability at home ownership i would've had this fixed ages ago, but i don't, so fuck off and just get me to Mexico v. Brasil tonight in the Copa America, Lord keep me off the booze cuz if i start tonight it might be a full bottle of Powers Irish and we all know where that road leads... but now my dinner has arrived and we'll take a short commercial break before i continue, my sponsors will try to sell you weed and things that make your dick bigger and it will all be broadcast in Espanol...

at least now the pills have kicked in and the cola is fizzy and my belly's full...

Ann Coulter is a media whore who screws goats and other assorted barnyard animals, i'm still trying to wonder who thinks this woman is sexy? she's a blonde troll who doesn't even insult people well but she does love the sound of her own voice, i wonder if she finds it funny that even her dildo has earplugs on....

and so it goes that any well thought out ideas are lying on scraps of paper waiting for the time and energy to be posted for good use, the second part of Rev. History, the crushing love story about a boy, his girl and their drugs, get your hankies out for this one kids, it'll be sadder than the last episode of Beverly Hills 90210...

ah the humidity clings to me like a scared baby and no one writes to the Kono anymore, except the inmates that are primates and this thick air makes me sleepy in the car crash so lovingly called America and Elton John sings "goodbye yellow brick road" to Tony Blair in his dashing suit and perky smile and Mr. Malkmus screams "that boys are dying on these streets" and no one seems to hear and the cigarettes make me choke and the bleach it burns my nose and my heroes are all bones and the cold, crisp, snap of my sanity leaves my smiling smiling smiling.

2 comments:

ItWasInevitable said...

Aaahhhh - I might not write to you, but I most certainly read it all. Sorry about your basement. When mine flooded, it was just water and I know how that sucked. But I did get adorable pink paisley galoshes at Pay Less for the clean up. Maybe that's what you need. Eh, probably not.

Michael said...

Fucking-A man!
Brilliant summary to the humdity hell that was Pgh last week.
(except MY sewer did not back up. That must have sucked. Big time.)