Thursday, December 2, 2010

Homage- Ellroy

Kono drove white knuckle high. He gripped the wheel and felt the tingle in his hands. Cold air kept him alert. Kono parked and entered the bar. He drove a stick because bad asses did not drive automatics. In the bar he drank flat stout from dirty pipes. The bar was hipster heaven, smoke filled and dank. It was slow. Queen Perry poured the drinks and sashayed around, baseball cap pulled low. Queen Perry liked giving blow jobs and being a power bottom. Queen Perry liked it when indie boys got to drunk and confused about their sexuality.

Kono stared blankly into the mirror. The mirror was covered in information, booze prices and bar rules. Kono clocked two brothers behind him. He wanted silence. Brother One didn't give it to him. Brother two hit the ATM. Brother One kept whoo-whooing and eyeballing him. Brother One was drunk and ordering a six pack of tall boys to go. Brother One whoo-whooed some more and spoke half jive have drunk to Kono. Kono tried to ignore him. Brother One kept at it. Brother One muttered incoherent shit and talked good to be in the USA. He talked service to his country between idiot noises. Kono stared at the television and tried to forget he was there. Brother One touched his shoulder and breathed rancid breathe his way. Brother Two examined ATM like it was quantum physics. Brother One talked to much shit. Kono gave him the don't fuck with me vibe. Brother One felt it said no disrespect. Kono sized him up. He was tall and old but working man strong. Kono gripped his pint glass tight. Brother Two became Einstein and scored his money. They left. Kono took a breath and felt the tension leave his shoulders.

It was a slow night. Queen Perry danced around. He kept his ball cap low and liked scoping man ass. His friends made fag jokes and grinned. Kono kept his head down and drank more flat stout. Slow night in hipster town. Kono spent many nights in here high on speed. The thought made him cringe. In those days speed turned him into an asshole. Those days were long gone. Kono kicked the shit when the boy was born. Finally he wanted to live. Kono tapped out a cigarette, thought of his sons, put it back. Flannel boys at the end of the bar avoided eye contact and ate chicken wings. Couple behind him sat at a booth and played early romance. She had big cans and a fat ass, he wore a blazer and most likely wrote shit poetry. They talked work and it bored Kono stiff. Kono wished for silence or good tune on the jukebox.

Three stools over was an aging hipster. He was pudgie. Kono nicknamed him Pudge and grinned. Pudge was bopping around with a twentysomething brunette. Pudge thought he knew everything. Pudge thought he was superfuckingcool. His face said late forties and his haircut reeked 22. Pudge wouldn't let the Skirt out of arm's reach. Pudge talked loud about them being just friends. Pudge had i'm desperate to fuck this girl plastered all over him. Skirt sat down and smiled up his friends. Friends of Pudge played it super cool and made jokes about each other's sexuality. Skirt thought everything she said was interesting. Skirt emanated IQ in the 70's. Skirt got by on a smile and nice legs. Kono admired her back, wondered what she was like in bed. Probably never shut the fuck up he thought and grinned again. Pudge felt things slipping. Pudge talked about tickets to Shit-town mash up artist concert. Pudge hoped it would bring Skirt back towards him. Pudge was right. Skirt offered up a date for the show. Pudge asked about her boyfriend. Skirt said who cares and eyed up his friends. Pudge felt a tingle in his scrotum. Pudge, Skirt and friends were the bastion of inanity. Kono wondered why he left the house. Kono wanted to tell them the Mash-up Man was shit. Kono wanted to tell Pudge he'd be twice as old as anyone else there. He ordered another flat pint of shit stout and headed for the pinball.

Back room was calm. Two midget gang bangers and suit playing pool. Kono dropped quarters and the pinball machine kicked on Marshall stack loud. The midgets eyed his black work coat. Kono eyed them. Kono knew half ass hoods when he saw them. Kono used to run shit. Kono was the tree man, he still had street cred and a mean uppercut. Brothers back in the day knew Kono had the good shit that didn't make the ghetto. Kono used to live in this place. He had carnal relations in the women's bathroom. He poured his own beers at 5am. Years ago he chained smoked until the powder ran out. Now he wonders why he leaves the house, reminds him of all the things he doesn't miss. The midget gang bangers kept a watchful eye. Kono finished his flat stout. He set the glass down and made for the door. He glommed the Skirts legs and she glommed back. He hit the cold air. He jones'd for sleep.

and exercise in Ellroy cuz i was bored.


Diary of Why said...

Hrm. Had to google this guy.

This could be spot-on, for all I know, but I still like you better as you.

JMH said...

I wonder if the moment you decide to wear a blazer is the moment you forsake your poetry.

No. No, I could wear a blazer and write good poetry. I'd just wear my blazer in the shower.

Kono said...

DofW- he writes crime fiction of the hardboiled variety. good stuff. see movie L.A. Confidential and don't worry i'll be back to my no punctuating ass in no-time, just playing with style a bit.

JMH- the moment you wear a turtleneck and a blazer you are a shit poet, a blazer in the shower in acceptable, the only blazers i wear are of the Sonny Crocket/Rico Tubbs variety, pastel-sandals-wife beater... smokin hot.

sybil law said...

I think Ellroy would like this - a lot.
Have a great weekend, Kono!!

(Also, the description of Pudge made me laugh - I've seen that douche before!)

daisyfae said...

love the characters, amused by the style!

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Well done. I use to collect Ellroy signed first editions and he always included these crazy, violent inscriptions. Saw him read a few times and he's creepy x 10 in real life, too.

Kono said...

Sybil- gracias, I wonder how Pudge enjoyed his concert? maybe i'll have to check back this wednesday.

Daisy- thanks as always and those characters are the types that inhabit the places i drink, they keep it mildly entertaining to painfully annoying.

UB- Thank you sir, Ellroy is a weird cat, of course that's probably why i dig him so much.

Rassles said...

LA Confidential is one of my favorites. The book AND the movie. Nicely done.

Kono said...

Rassles- that's one of his books i haven't read though i plan to, White Jazz, American Tabloid, The Cold Six Thousand and right now i'm reading Blood's a Rover, great shit, hence my little exercise and let me state that Pete Bondurant is one of my all time favorite characters in any book.